The concept of mental health has been stigmatized for centuries, and because of this negative ideology behind it, those who are suffering are not getting the proper care they need. Even though mental health is becoming more accepted and resources are more available, many students have teachers and/or parents who are still not understanding of these issues. This discrepancy between increased availability of resources with an unaccepting environment can cause the mentally ill to feel out of place or helpless.
Students who live with mental illnesses struggle with themselves throughout their day, from the moment they wake up to the time they go to sleep, causing school to be an added stressor to their lives. Depending on the issue itself, students may experience things such as lack of sleep/concentration/attention, decrease in motivation to do school work or go to school as a whole, decrease in social interaction, etc, which all can lead to falling behind in school.
Teachers don’t fully understand how much of an impact they can make on a student and their school day. Students spend the majority of their time in school and with their teachers, meaning that teachers should be doing what they can to make a difference within each student during that time. If teachers were more educated about the warning signs of mental health issues and how those illnesses can affect a student’s academic performance, significant changes could be made in order to better the students’ chances at succeeding in school. Teachers should complete more mental health training in order to be better educated and aware of mental health issues within their students. With this increase in education, new changes can be made within the classroom to help put students’ minds to rest.
Thesis: Teachers should complete more mental health training in order to be better educated and aware of mental health issues within their students. With this increase in education, new changes can be made within the classroom to help put students’ minds to rest.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
While your title introduces the issue of your issue brief, maybe you could add some specificity to make the title “more in line” with your thesis. Potentially something along the lines of, “Teachers Need to be Trained to Better Understand Mental Health” (maybe not exactly that title, but I was thinking something more “assertive”?)
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
You did a good job introducing the exigence behind your issue brief, but maybe you could make the issue feel more “pressing” by opening with a story related to your exigence, or even including statistics which strengthen the urgency of the exigence.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
While your thesis definitely signals a clear argumentative claim, maybe you could include more-specific measures to talk about how you think teachers should complete more mental health training (maybe some more “policy-oriented” measures).
1) The title is very clear an consise, it covers the main issue of this essay which is educating teachers on the importance of mental health. It hints at the the main thesis which will mostly consist of speaking of Educating teachers and how that will benefit the school system.
2) In terms of exigence, the title doesn’t really answer a question but rather it poses one. How do we educate teachers in order to be more familiar with the issues and struggles of mental health? The main thesis also agrees with this, atlhough, its main message is to just conduct these classes for teachers. though I expect there will be more details later on in the essay.
3)The main argument of this thesis is the fact that educating teachers on mental health will improve the lives of students as it will make their time in class much more comfortable. Although this is a nice argument overall, there are unfortunately a lot of issues with that which I am sure you will discover along the way as things are never really that simple. Education is a very complex job and being in managment for that complex job makes things much more difficult as there are so many variables to this complicated enviroment full of people who dont want to be there.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
Regarding your title, it is concrete and simple. It gives the reader somewhat of an understanding on what your Issue Brief is about. Rather than echoing what issues are specified in your paper, I think the title hints at what you are trying to get at. I feel like you could be a little more specific and hone in on how teachers will be trained to understand/see the warning signs. Maybe you could do something like, “Educating Teachers on the Warning Signs: Mental Health” or “Training Teachers for the Better Health of Students”.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
I believe your title and introduction respond to the exigence. You explained how the student population’s mental health has been dwindling and it is essential for educators to be trained on how to acknowledge the warning signs. I think you could put more pressure on the issue by incorporating certain statistics later in your brief. Besides that, great job!
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
Pertaining to the thesis, I think it responds to the exigence, but it could be a little more specific. What kind of training should we implement in our schools? You could be more specific as to what kind of training the teachers will get and then finish it off by saying that students will be able to less distressed.