Considering the fact that I attended an all-girls Catholic, private school, one would think that every student fits that cookie cutter mold of a perfect religious straight young woman, right? Right? Wrong. I stand here today as a proud example of the paradox that is all-girls Catholic schools. To put it generally, there were a lot of queer people at that school. Which leads me to my next point. High school is a time to find yourself, experience new things, and join in. So let’s put these two ideas together shall we?
“A bunch of queer students” + “A period in your life where one seeks friendships/community” = “Some sort of queer school club”
Right? Well, you’re wrong again. We forgot a key factor in our equation. Let’s try this again.
“A bunch of queer students” + “A period in your life where one seeks friendships/community” – “Catholicism” = “Gay people don’t exist.”
In this case, despite the overwhelming amount of queer and gender nonconforming individuals at my high school, the school’s administration repeatedly denied permission to create a Gay Straight Alliance club due to Catholic affiliation denouncing LGBTQIA+ people.
As a queer and non-binary individual, this issue kept a raging fire burning in my heart throughout my time in high school. The paradoxes continued to become evident. I held multiple leadership positions, I was the Executive Board President of Student Council, I did morning announcements every day, and was even asked to speak at graduation. And yet, I couldn’t even take a woman to a school dance, or ask teachers to use my preferred pronouns.
The disregard of the LGBTQIA+ community by my former high school led me to believe that every individual has the right to feel welcomed and supported in society no matter their gender or sexual identity. As I noticed what was taking place right under my nose, I became conscious of the fact that this wasn’t just happening in Pennsylvania, but everywhere across the country. The rise of anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric and legislation across the United States has become a norm in recent decades. States like Florida have passed bills limiting the discussion of LGBTQIA+ topics in schools, and many other states have been introducing bills to remove the right for children to receive gender-affirming care.
Despite efforts by far-right and conservative individuals/groups, the LGBTQIA+ community has continued to push for more inclusive and welcoming environments in areas like education, workplaces, and healthcare. Such efforts can be seen in examples like asking for people’s preferred pronouns or by implementing diversity and inclusion programs into environments.
I believe that every individual deserves the right to feel welcomed, included, and accepted in society no matter their gender or sexual identity. Every person on this Earth strives to find their community, there’s no denying that. Humans crave connection, right? RIGHT. So when considering those of us in society who identify as lesbian, queer, asexual, non-binary, etc. they hold that same right to find their community, right? RIGHT. And to those of you who like to use rebuttals about religion or the Constitution, all I have to say is: Read the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.
Thank you.
1. The central conflict of the story is attending a school where your sexual and gender identity was not respected, limiting your ability to form connections with others. The story follows a categorical structure by giving distinct reasons for your belief, rather than showing a transformation of a belief. If time permits, you could include another example/reason you hold this belief.
2. I really liked the style of this piece! I especially liked the use of rhetorical questions and how you used equations to show how outrageous your high school’s policy was. I think the piece shows your authentic voice and I don’t really have any suggestions for the style.
3. One way you could develop the “I” further is by talking about how your high school’s actions made you feel and impacted you, if you feel comfortable doing so. With the constraint of time it may be difficult to include, but it could also be intriguing to include the perspective of another student at your school who was dealing with the same problem. All the details were relevant to the audience.
4. The belief did match up with the story. The piece has both narrative coherence and fidelity. One way you could increase the fidelity is talking about how lack of acceptance for LGBTQIA+ youth impacts their mental health.
5. You could include the perspective of another student at your school to show how much the school’s stance on the LGBTQIA+ affected the student body.
1. After reading your script, it’s clear that the main conflict here is between Catholicism and the LGBTQIA+ community and how it affected your high school, specifically. I think you follow a sort of cause and effect structure because you tell a story and then explain your belief.
2. Honestly, I found the gravity and style of your writing to be perfect. Obviously it is a sensitive and very serious topic, and you did a great job conveying that in an academic yet emotional way. I love it.
3. If you wanted to flesh it out a little bit, you could definitely describe a specific anecdote and talk about a certain teacher or whoever.
4. Yes, it all lined up perfectly, and you did a great job explaining your belief at the end.
5. I totally love the math equation logic so you could use more of that, or honestly any other like niche writing style.