This I Believe: I Don’t Have to Decide

151980136A rock star princess on the moon. When I was little and was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you that I wanted to be a rock star and a princess and an astronaut. Yes. I had some pretty big aspirations starting before I could even walk. I remember telling that to people, and they would laugh, and say how cute I was. But what they didn’t realize is that I was completely serious. My dad would say, “If that’s what you really want, you can do it.” It was what I really wanted. I couldn’t choose between my dream jobs, so I was just going to do them all.

This theme of not being able to decide has been pretty consistent since I was little. My parents always tell the story of how they would take my sister and me to a candy shop when we were little and I would just stand there looking at all the different options, until I got so overwhelmed that I left, or had my mom choose for me. It’s funny looking back at it. But at the time, it seemed like the biggest decision in the world. What if I don’t like the candy that I choose? What if I make the wrong decision?

Now that I’m “all grown up”, the types of decisions I have to make have changed, but they aren’t any easier. Now, I’m faced with questions like, “What do you want to study?” and “What are you most looking for in life?” Somehow, I left the time of you don’t have to know what you want to do yet and entered the make these decisions that will alter the rest of your life.

Throughout my life, I have been given opportunities to open my eyes to so many different options and to put myself in those situations and see what really appeals to me. I have more plans than I can even keep track of, and I honestly get anxious sometimes, worrying about how I will accomplish all that I want to do.

In a world that places people into neat categories, I have found that making decisions only accentuates that single-mindedness. People tell me that I have to choose, but I believe that I don’t have to decide.

I can play sports and do well in school. I can travel and have a career. I can become a surgeon and have a family. I don’t have to place myself in a single category. I don’t have to decide.

Comments

  1. Ben Henderson says:

    Loved the childhood stories, and the picture too!

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