The Boy Who Called Police

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a college student who sat on the sidewalk of frat row under a flickering lamppost. Despite his dimly lit surroundings, Wyatt watched as a line of people entered one of the frat houses, where deafening voices and sounds of crashing bottles grew against the party music that pervaded the streets. With no plans for the night, Wyatt decided to approach the frat house and wait in line, interested by the activity in the house.

After a two-hour wait in the frigid cold night, Wyatt was finally allowed to enter. Empty glass bottles lay everywhere, the music was blaring through the rooms, and no one seemed to be fully conscious of their actions and movements. To amuse himself, Wyatt took a great breath and sang out, “Police! Police! The police are coming!” Suddenly, the students began running around the room, discarding all glass bottles and drinks as quickly as their intoxication would let them.

“Quick, hide the pitcher under there!” screamed Wally.

“Carry George upstairs! He’s passed out on the couch!” shrieked one of the girls.

“Oh my god, are they going to kick me out? I have a 4.0 GPA and I’m president of three clubs and I’m going to law school and oh my god, I’m going to get kicked out,” Agnes stressed, as this was the first party she had ever attended.

After a few minutes, with the room cleared, everyone started waiting for the police. Fifteen minutes later, there was still no police in sight. Wyatt simply laughed at the sight of the blank, confused faces around the room and walked back to his dorm.

The next weekend, Wyatt stood in line of another party at a different frat house. Upon entering, the atmosphere reeked of intoxication as bodies flimsily moved around the room in futile effort to coordinate themselves. Within few minutes, Wyatt became bored at the party so to amuse himself, he took a great breath and sang out, “Police! Police! The police are coming!” The students clumsily rushed across the room, attempting to hide any evidence that would compromise their futures.

“Just put everything under the sofa!” bellowed Willy, who was under limited thinking capacity.

“Let’s all hide upstairs!” hollered Wayne, who suffered a similar condition to Willy.

Within a few minutes, the room was relatively clean and the students sat in anticipation of the police. After waiting almost twenty minutes, the students became irate and flustered by the false alarm. Wyatt laughed to himself as he walked back to his dorm.

The following weekend, Wyatt stood in line for a party at yet another frat house. Drinks were scattered on the floor and table as Wyatt helped himself to one. Will.I.Am’s “Scream and Shout” hit was being played as almost unconscious bodies attempted to dance to the beat. After an fifteen minutes, Wyatt became bored and to amuse himself, he took a great breath and sang out, “Police! Police! The police are coming!” Not a single body flinched as they all continued their own activities and dalliances. The news of false police alarms had spread through frat row, making everyone immune to the potential threat. Wyatt shrugged his shoulders as he accepted another drink, hoping to enjoy the party later in the night.

Less than an hour later, police sirens started blaring from a few streets away. Wyatt took a great breath and sang out, “Police! Police! The police are coming!” By that time of night, most were intoxicated beyond function and the remaining few were too resistant to Wyatt’s false alarms that they simply continued their activities. And slowly, the sirens became louder and louder. But it was too late. No one had time to move, clean, or eat and simply stood in paralyzing fear of the consequence. The police entered the door and had everyone arrested for underage consumption, including Wyatt.

As the officer walked Wyatt out of the house, he said, “It’s funny. I heard somewhere that there was a boy who called police and no one came. Guess people should have listened to him now. Nobody believes a liar, even when he’s telling the truth.”

Wyatt vowed to never lie again.