Snow White: A Modern Adaptation

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a young lady whose beauty surpassed that of all the land. Her hair was as black as ebony and fell gracefully down her shoulders in utter perfection; her deep blue eyes sparkled against the redness of her lips and rosy cheeks. As she walked daintily on College Avenue in a lacy blue and yellow dress, everyone became humbled by her beauty and elegance.

Everyday for many years, a wicked woman asked her magic eight ball, “Who is the loveliest lady of them all?” and the reply was always “You are.” But one day, the magic eight ball answered, “Snow White is the loveliest in the land.” The wicked woman was furious and, wild with jealously, began plotting the downfall of her rival. Calling upon one of her trusted friends, the wicked woman bribed her with a substantial reward to take Snow White far away from campus and bring her downfall. The next day, the wicked woman’s friend led Snow White to the corner of campus but before she was to complete her task, her courage failed her and she ran away, leaving Snow White all alone.

Night came and frightened and cold, Snow White began to cry bitterly. She thought that she heard strange sounds and rustling noises around her, but alas, overcome by fatigue, she fell asleep under a tree.

Morning arrived and Snow White woke to the song of the birds, which were perched upon a large, beautiful house. Snow White realized how irrational her fears had been and pushed the door of the house open. “I wonder who lives here?” she thought to herself, peering around the empty room.

Snow White walked to the kitchen and decided to make some coffee and toast for the house’s residents. After setting the food on the table, Snow White walked to the sofa and fell asleep. A few hours later, a throng of girls walked into the house only to find a stranger sleeping on their couch. One of the girls gently touched Snow White to wake her up, explaining to her that she was in a sorority house and asking who she was.

Snow White sat up and told them her unfortunate story, and tears fell down the cheeks of every girl.

“Stay here with us!” one of the girls exclaimed. With nowhere to go, Snow White accepted the invitation and over the next few days, became very close friends with all of the girls in the house.

Meanwhile, the wicked woman became more and more infuriated as the eight ball showed, “Snow White is the loveliest in the land.” The wicked woman had heard about Snow White’s whereabouts and planned her revenge.

With the bitter cold weather coming upon the land, Snow White, among many others, developed a fever. The wicked woman saw her opportunity, placed a box of NyQuil in her pocket and walked quickly to frat row to perform her task.

Snow White was in the kitchen making tea when she heard knowing at the door.

“Who’s there?” she called suspiciously.

“I come to you as a friend. I heard you were very ill and I have brought you some medicine.”

“I don’t need any medicine, but thank you,” she replied.

“But this medicine is the best in the land.”

Overcome by her malady, Snow White opened the door slightly, took the box of medicine, waved the wicked woman goodbye, and swallowed the medicine.

An hour later, Snow White collapsed to the floor.

Meanwhile, Snow White’s friends were returning to the house only to hear loud thunder echoing through the valley. Worried about Snow White, they ran as quickly as they could to the house, where they found Snow White lying still and lifeless, with an empty box of NyQuil by her side.

“Oh no, she has taken too much NyQuil!” one friend observed, noticing the empty box of medicine that she deduced Snow White had finished.

“She should have taken DayQuil. Now she’ll never wake up!” screamed another friend.

Her friends wept by her side, but after a while, laid her on a bed of rose petals and carried her into the woods. That evening, the friends discovered a strange young man admiring Snow White through the woods. He approached them and suggested that Snow White ought to be taken to the Health Services Center where she may be revived. He then bent down, and kissed Snow White on the cheek. And then, by magic, Snow White opened her eyes in a hazy gaze, staring at the face of her savior, who told her the story of her revival. While hearing the story, Snow White blushed and thanked her friends and her savior for their doings. And from that day on, Snow White lived happily ever after.