Thanksgiving dinners in my family involve my family and a few of my uncles, aunts, cousins coming together to for one day of the year to eat a large bounty of food and watch football and talk about our lives in the past year or so, depending on when we each saw each other last. In my case, everyone was curious about my college experience considering I am one of the youngest cousins out of all my family members. While the youth don’t go into hard core discussions about politics and religion, the adults upstairs talk about every little matter on this planet we call Earth. From sports, to medicine, to politics (especially this year with the election and all), the adults in my family try to get a wide variety of conversations into that one night of the year.
Unlike with many other families, my family is pretty good with discussing controversial topics and keeping a calm and level-headed behavior. Why? Because we take into account that Thanksgiving is the only time of the year where all of us are gathered at one time and can actually spend time together. The last thing anyone wanted to do, was to walk out of my house with steam coming out of their ears because Uncle Benny expressed his opinion and everyone else got mad. Now does that mean that everyone agreed with everyone else’s opinion? No, sure there were disagreements, but nothing dramatic or that would cause a scene or affect familial relationships. But no one is afraid to speak their mind, because the holiday season brings up feelings of family and a loving and warm atmosphere. It doesn’t matter what you say, but rather it’s how we say it. Don’t make your points by being derogatory and being outright condescending toward others, but rather, just introduce your opinion to the audience and allow others to make their way.
I like the fact that your family is able to talk about such polarizing topics at a large family meal. I think the most important fact, like you said, is how you approach disagreement. There is a way to respectfully disagree with someone, but there is also a way to be derogatory and put someone else’s opinions down, which is where the problems in such discussions come from. This all comes back to the idea of debate, and if you can actually properly debate something and listen to what others have to say, then conversations like this can be successful.
I think you have a more progressive family structure than other families in the country. I, personally, know many families that are not capable of having such discussions at a dinner table. It’s great that your family can discuss politics and religion. It shows that you have a more open inviting rhetorical environment. Such an environment is critical for open conversation.