Positive affirmations and manifesting have dominated TikTok feeds in recent months as teenagers began to discover the power of positive thinking. We are told that faking confidence will lead to true self-assurance. That simply telling ourselves we are worthy of love will make us believe it. And that manifesting our ideal life will land us our dream job. 

What most of us do not realize is that self-affirmations and wishful thinking can actually be counter-productive. 

Positive affirmations alone can make people feel worse about themselves and their abilities. Studies have found that couples who claimed optimism about their future were more likely to experience marital strife. Similarly, university graduates who envisioned their success as they entered their fields actually earned less, received fewer job offers, and sent fewer job applications out in the first place. 

Why is this?

Our brains are so good at imagining scenarios that we have trouble distinguishing between something that happened and something that we imagined. This is because imagining a situation in vivid detail lights up the same neural pathways that the same situation would trigger in real life, meaning that manifesting and wishful thinking can actually provide us with the same sense of reward we get when we accomplish something in real life. 

If we feel as if we’ve already achieved our goals, we can lose the motivation necessary to pursue our dreams. Plus, if our egos inflate as the result of our wishful thinking, the obstacles we face on our way to accomplishing our ambitions will be that much more disheartening, leading to self-doubt and negative self-talk.

What can we do about it?

Instead of practicing manifestation or positive affirmations, I have started to turn to learned optimism: the conscious practice of viewing the world from a positive perspective. From this definition, learned optimism may seem like an obvious, cliche solution, but this alternative is much deeper than a “glass half-full” perspective; it is about acknowledging our struggles and reframing them in a way that empowers us to reclaim our agency. 

With learned optimism, we can understand our misfortunes and the negative emotions associated with them as temporary setbacks and opportunities for growth. While adopting this perspective on life may require more effort than positive affirmations, it will be much more beneficial long-term.