I was sitting in my living room, eyes glued to the television, watching the continued news coverage on the COVID-19 pandemic. Having just been told that me and my classmates would indeed not be returning to school after initially being sent home a month before in March 2020, I, along with much of the world, looked to the news for any kind of information I could find on this mysterious virus. As I was watching, the news broadcast shared a plethora of stories of how COVID was already derailing supply chains. One of these stories caught my attention in particular––the news broadcast showed footage of hundreds of people lined up outside local food banks, waiting their turn to get food for their families. The most heartbreaking part was seeing these very people get denied at the door due to a shortage in incoming food donations. I wanted to do something, so I asked my friends if they wanted to help me organize a socially distanced food drive, “after all it would give us something to do while we’re home,” I thought. Although I had seen the food drive as more of a “project” to complete, I decided to continue with the idea. After finding a couple of friends who wanted to help, we set out creating and distributing flyers to homes around our neighborhoods. After distributing all the flyers, collection day came two weeks later. After collecting all the donated food items from our neighbors’ porches, I got into the car and left for the Salvation Army of Allentown to drop off the donations. As I was driving, I remembered the news story I was watching just over a month ago. I knew that the donations that were in the back of my car wouldn’t solve the donation shortages in food banks, but that didn’t diminish how proud I was of what my community had contributed. When I finally reached the food bank in downtown Allentown, Pennsylvania, I began unloading the items with volunteers from the food bank. As we transferred the bags of cans and boxes from my car to different carts from the foodbank, many of the volunteers seemed thankful. One of the volunteers even mentioned, “This is the first substantial donation we’ve received in nearly a month.” The volunteers talked about how fulfilling it was for them to be able to serve others in need, as well as how difficult it had been recently with having to deny people help due to food shortages. As I was talking to the volunteers and learning more about what their recent days of volunteering at the food bank had looked like, I felt a sense of conviction hearing about the food shortages. However, I also felt something else––I felt a sense of contentment knowing that I had played a role in helping address the food bank’s donation shortages. Rather than seeing the food drive as a project to be completed, I saw the food item collection through the eyes of the contentment I felt in those moments. Rather than viewing the organization of the food drive as a mere investment of my time, I recognized how much the experience had taught me, as well as how privileged I was to never have to worry about where my next meal was coming from. I believe in the transformative nature of this paradigm shift. I believe in the importance of deciding to use my time to help others. But most importantly, I believe that the most fulfilling experiences in life come from acts of service and giving back to others.
2 Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Before getting into I want you to acknowledge that your this I believe statement or core idea of helping people is relevent and heartwarming.
1.Identify the central conflict and structure (cause and effect, transformation, categorical) of this piece. Provide ideas for enhancing the central conflict structure/arrangement.
– I presume that this was cause and effect, the pandemic caused you to realize that you should spend your time helping people. However; I feel like it wasn’t presented in the best light. Maybe think about a time where you wanted someone to help you and no one did. Think about how that made you feel and maybe connect it to your story of wanting to help others through a food drive during the pandemic. Kind of having it as a flashback moment.
2. Could the piece be more sensory or engaging if told another way? Comment on how the style could be strengthened. Provide an example from the draft.
– I think that I touched on this a bit in the other question, but show don’t tell. I think that the piece is a little to distant from any emotion. Usage of a flashback like I mentioned earlier would do be great to connect yourself to your cause.
Example: I saw the line of people on the TV. It extended for my miles. As the camera zoomed into the one of the childern in line. I couldn’t help but seem the look of desperation in their eyes. They wanted help. But no one was going to give it to them. Those eyes were ones I bore constantly when…..
3. Name some possibilities for deeper characterization. How could the “I” be developed further? Is there more you would like to know about the relationships between “characters”? Were some details “author oriented” instead of “audience oriented”?
– We don’t really get to know you. Not that you have to tell us your life story but I think that maybe even explaining why you wanted to help which I keep mentioning connect your need to help back to a time in your own life.
4. Did the belief match up with the story? Offer some advice if you felt the piece moved toward a different conclusion.Comment on places to strengthen narrative coherence and narrative fidelity.
5. Make a suggestion or two for something the author could move, change, add, or delete.
I think you can remove listing all the ways that you help and add more of why you wanted to help.
1) This uses a cause and effect style. I can easily tell that your belief is in helping others and the fulfillment you get from it. I think that your story does a great job assisting the reader in understanding why you believe what you believe.
2) The way you told the story was overall strong. You did a good job walking us through the events and the timeline. It made it easy for me to follow. The only thing I might add would be to use more descriptive language. I personally enjoyed it the way that it was but professor O’Hara might be more stringent on the descriptions.
3) For this I might try to incorporate ways to know you better. Like why you wanted to help the people, the feelings associated with your empathy for others, and anything else you might want us to know about you.
4) Your belief matched up with your story very well.
5) Overall I love this story. The only thing I would definitely add is the reason why you helped the people and the feelings associated with it.