This is a short memoir I wrote for my ENGL 015 Rhetoric and Composition class telling a story from my childhood. I’ve always loved short stories by O. Henry and Mark Twain, so I tried to tell my story in a similar style and allowed myself the freedom of a little exaggeration. I’m glad I did, because as far as writing goes, I had a blast!
The Ambush
Now, if you’ve never spent a summer in the middle of Pennsylvania, you’ve been missing out your whole life and never known it. I would say I’m an authority on the subject as I’ve spent almost every summer of my life here where it gets so hot and humid that people are often driven to extremes to keep cool. More importantly, for our story, it is a place where entrepreneurs have discovered the monetary advantages of an extraordinary invention known as a transportusisusflavorus (also called an ‘ice cream truck’).
At the age of five, my favorite movies starred Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, John Wayne, and Clint Eastwood. I was a scrawny little urchin notorious for never brushing my waist-length hair and for climbing the ancient white-pine trees which had served as ancient windbreakers for our white house. Besides having swings suspended from the series of giant trees, there was the garden full of tall tasseled sweet corn and a little meandering creek behind our house for me to play in. Out front was our yard (a mixture of weeds and clover mowed down to look like grass) and beyond that the portion of paved road which connected our house to civilization.
This road, which runs clear from the bottom of our hollow to the top has been traveled by eight generations of my family and is the most charming country road you can picture in your imagination. Nestled between the steep soft hills which form our miniature valley, it snakes sharply through cornfields and over bridges without a merciful straight stretch anywhere. Cathedral canopy ceilings of emerald foliage will filter sunlight onto the faded slate gray of the pavement, while in other places waving tall sentries of corn form narrow green canyons under a fresh blue sky. Wild flowers including daisies, black-eyed-susans, buttercups, and tiger lilies decorate their homes along the various banks and borders, while black and white cows graze on rolling pastures. It would be a peaceful drive if not for the various hairpin turns.
Anyway, back at the ranch… I was enjoying one of those blissful childhood summers which drag on forever without a care in the world. For some reason summers lasted longer back then. Upon my bright red swing under one of those tall rolling white pines I was a Cherokee princess riding my horse like the wind. Dodging bullets and certain death I fearlessly launched my attack on the fort with my trusty homemade bow and arrows (fashioned out of a birch pole, string, and sticks with a little Swiss Army). Needless to say I captured the fort with my braves and was just rounding up the captives when I heard the distant roar. It was Saturday.
Saturdays meant nothing special to me as a five year old other than the fact that it meant the “Swan’s” ice cream truck would drive by. However, this was not your standard little music-box tune playing ice cream truck (in fact I’ve never actually seen one of those). I’m talking about a speeding heavy duty diesel powered monster which left category five hurricanes and terrified rodents in its wake. It just happened to be painted a happy sunshine yellow and carrying ice cream. Without fail, every summer Saturday it would roar up the road. In all the times I had watched or waved as it drove by, I had never seen it stop for anyone or anything.
So, on that fine summer afternoon with my face painted like something out of braveheart and my trusty bow and arrows at my side you might be able to guess the foolish idea that popped into my head. The challenge was just too much to resist. It was genius and I was finally going to do it. I was going to hijack the ice cream truck!
Before you judge me for doing something stupid, you should know that my planned strategy had worked in practically every western I had seen to date. Surprise attack! The thought flashed through my head in much less time than it takes to write, and I knew by the sound of the distant roar that I would have just enough time to scout out the perfect cover for my ambush. I glided from tree to tree toward the road and determined in a flash that the last gnarled giant pine would suit my purpose perfectly. Between me and the road lay the 40 foot stretch of open yard that I would have to cross for my attack. My trap had been set and all I had to do was wait. Breathlessly I leaned against the prickly bark and listened to the roar of the truck grow louder. It soon grew into a reverberating diesel thunder and I knew it was close. I peeked to see and sure enough, the truck rounded the once peaceful bend in the road at full tilt and heading my way. Closer, closer, I waited for the right moment and then sprung from my hiding place. I was crossing the open stretch of yard almost as fast as the truck was barreling down the road to escape me. Only I had underestimated its speed and overestimated mine. In the blink of an eye, it had gained a lead and was getting away, but I was not to be outdone so easily. With a war hoop that any Apache warrior would be proud of I was in hot pursuit. Barefoot, in my Indian regalia, face painted, and brandishing my bow I was quite the blonde little savage. The truck was almost out of sight at the next bend in the road. I had failed. But wait! What was happening? I watched transfixed as the bright yellow monster rolled to a stop. I was both amazed and horrified. I had anticipated this, but never actually expected it to work! Some of you will be wondering what I did then. Well, I’ll tell you. I ran. I ran so fast back home you’d have thought the devil himself was hot on my heels, but can you blame me? For all I knew the devil could’ve been driving that ice cream truck, and teaching me to be careful what I wished for. So if you ever decide to finally spend a summer in the Pennsylvania countryside, don’t be afraid to stop by for a while.
Maybe we could get some ice cream.