I was a team member a few years ago, and we had to make a decision. An issue was presented as an either/ or type of dilemma. Two people took opposing views and started to argue about why they were right, and the other person was wrong. When it became obvious that we were at a stalemate, I asked them to switch sides and argue for the other’s point of view.

As Druskat explained, “many teams build high emotional intelligence by taking pains to consider matters from an individual member’s perspective” (p. 83). The exercise noted above helped the teammates to realize that they were so busy coming up with their arguments they weren’t listening to the other person.

As team members, it was within team norms to ask them to switch sides, and we had developed a set of norms that allowed anyone to step in and make a change if something wasn’t working. We knew that we worked best when we were honest with each other when we could tell someone to slow down, and we were always pushing each other to see the other side, consider the impact of our actions on our audience or clients, or each other.

The team has since changed. Only two of us remain from those days. Since then, there has been a subtle push to think less about the individual and more about the organization for which we work.

To develop our team EQ and recenter us on developing the individual, a facilitator could begin the meeting with an icebreaker to get to know each other better. Have people share a favorite memory. The facilitator can then ask if there are portions of the memory. Once everyone has had a chance to share, we could segue into the meeting. Throughout the meeting, the facilitator can ask if there are any pros or cons that haven’t been discussed or if the decision could impact any of our partners. Suppose we were our partners, how we could potentially feel about the decision.

Considering the individual or group, the decision impacts will provide a way for the group to open up about themselves. If practiced consistently, this may move the group towards a higher level of trust. Druskat (2001) writes, “a more effective approach to perspective-taking is to ensure that team members see one another making an effort to grapple with perspectives; that way, the team has a better chance of creating the kind of trust that leads to greater participation among members” (p. 83).

Asking questions and directing the group back towards considering an individual’s perspective is something that anyone on the team can do. Druskat (2001 p. 84) explains as crucial as norms are at creating emotional intelligence, they aren’t difficult to create. Creating norms can be implemented by reinforcing small behaviors.

Reference

Druskat, V.U., & Wolff, S. B. (2001). Building the emotional intelligence of groups. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2001/03/building-the-emotional-intelligence-of-groups