Plain and simple, being a girl is hard. 

 

Dealing with men is hard. 

 

We are encouraged to be “nice” to  them whether we are uncomfortable or not. 

 

A huge problem we face as women, is the issue of assumptions. Often as girls, we are accused of  “jumping to conclusions”, but in reality, it is so common for men to be the ones guilty of this. They often interpret acts of kindness or friendship as a sexual interest. While this can also be applicable for women to men, I’m focusing specifically on the female perspective. 

 

Recently, I have experienced a lot of this in my own life, and in stories that my friends share with me. One night, I was going to a concert with my friends, here at Penn State, and we ran into some guys that didn’t know where the concert was. We all ended up walking to the concert together and engaging in some small talk, “where are you from”, “what’s your major”, etc. However, when we got to the concert, the guys would not leave our sides. They kept trying to dance with us and grab our waists or touch us in any way they could, despite our attempts to get away from them. Over the course of the night, we never flirted with the guys, or made any gestures that would hint at sexual interest. However, our friendliness towards them somehow got misconstrued in their brains and they thought it was acceptable to pursue us. 

 

Additionally, a few nights ago a friend of mine told me about a guy “friend” that she had made who began telling people that they had been “talking”. His friends told her that she was sending him mixed signals when she said she wasn’t interested because they had walked to class together and eaten in the dining commons together. Apparently, these activities correlate to sexual interest??? 

 

I’m finding that these assumptions make it really hard to find genuine guy friends, who don’t want anything in return. 

 

Why is it that we have allowed guys to act like this? They’re so entitled that they think they have a right to pursue or touch us girls when we do something as simple as talk to them or smile back. It’s not ok. Men do not have the right to misconstrue kindness into sex, or touching, or any sexual obligation. Let me make this clear, women do not owe men anything. You are not required to be nice to men all of the time, at the cost of your own well-being. We are entitled to say no, in ANY situation, or just simply walk away. 

 

Guys need to grow up and learn that they do not get access to a woman’s body that easily. They get access when we grant them approval, not when they think they deserve it, or whenever they have a conversation with a girl. That’s not how it works. Frankly, I’m sick of it. I don’t want to have to worry about whether or not a guy is my friend because he actually wants to be my friend, or because he wants sex in return. 

 

We might not be able to control male actions, in this situation, but as women we can make a conjoint decision to say no. We can be blunt and tell them it’s not cool when they try to pursue us in inappropriate situations. We can take back our power and show them that they are not entitled to our bodies.