Welcome to season two! Ted and Robin are in love, and after a bit of time, so are Marshall and Lily. Unlike season one, where a bunch of important plot points occurred, this season is mostly just funny. There is not a single bad episode, but here are some of my favorites.
Episode 5 – World’s greatest couple
Summary: Lily’s new apartment in New York is awful (her and Marshall are still broken up) so she stays with Barney for a while. This is our fist look at Barney’s ridiculous bachelor pad (he has a toilet where the seat will not stay down to discourage women from staying). Eventually he finds a use for his houseguest, as Lily will walk into the apartment posing as Barney’s Wife so his various one-night stands will promptly depart.
i. Side Note: Marshall starts a bromance with his law school friend Brad
Barney: Look around you, Lily! You are in the heart of Bachelor Country. And as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now, you could try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts twelve hours…fourteen if you qualify for multiple entry, heh!
Lily: Ewwww….is something some lame, judgmental chick would say, but I say ‘gimme multiple high-fives’!
Barney: Wow, you really are desperate.
Lily: I really am
Episode 6 – Aldrin Justice
Summary: The funny parts of this episode are side stories. The first is that Barney tries to sleep with Marshall’s cougar law professor, and after each encounter she gives him a grade. Usually something low like a C, so Barney becomes determined to “raise his grade.” Also, Ted’s boss designed a rather, shall we say, interesting skyscraper. Watch the video and you will understand.
Lily: Wow you weren’t kidding it really does look like a giant [. . .].
Ted: I know, but whatever reason Mr. Druthers just doesn’t see it.
Lily: How can he NOT see it? I mean there’s the [points]
Ted: I know…
Lily: And the way it…
Ted: I know…
Lily: And the two little…
Ted: I know!
Episode 7 – Swarley
Summary: Marshall meets a cute girl at a coffee shop (who mistakenly writes down “Swarley” instead of “Barney” on Barney’s coffee cup, hence the nickname) and they decide to go out on a date. Two problems though, the girl has “crazy eyes” and Lily becomes insanely jealous. (This is also the episode where they get back together)
Episode 9 – Slap Bet
Summary: OKAY. This is the big one. This episode is so important for basically the rest of the series. The gang figures out that Robin has been keeping something secret about her past. Marshall thinks that she secretly got married at a mall when she was younger (and that’s why she hates malls) while Barney believes that Robin used to do porn. So Marshall and Barney have a slap bet (whoever is right about Robin gets to slap the other as hard as they can). It turns out that Robin was a teen pop star in Canada named Robin Sparkles. But Barney stops the video he dug up on Robin too soon, thinking that it is porn, and slaps Marshall. As a punishment for the premature slap, Marshall gets five slaps to be doled out to Barney at any point for the rest of eternity.
Funny Quote 1
Lily: Like you really need an excuse to watch porn.
Barney: Canadian porn. Trust me when I tell you their universal health care plan doesn’t cover breast implants. If I have to watch one more flat-chested Nova Scotian riding a Mountie on the back of a Zamboni, I’m going to go “oot” of my mind.
Funny Quote 2
Barney: Fine, if you wanna know what Robin’s secret is…
Ted: You know??!
Barney: Of course I know. She couldn’t look at us. Her face got flushed. That’s shame, my friend. Our friend Robin used to do porn….wait for it….ography!
Ted: Yea, we didn’t really need to wait for that. And it’s ridiculous!
Lily: I don’t know. He could be right. She does have the fake orgasm noises down.
Lily: What? The walls are thin.
Ted: That’s not what I’m ‘hey’-ing you about.
Episode 16 – Stuff
Summary: Unfortunately I cannot find very many clips for this one :-/ But essentially what happens is that Robin realizes that almost everything in Ted’s apartment is from past girlfriends, so she asks him to get rid of it all, which doesn’t go over well. Also, after Lily has the group attend her unbelievably horrible play, Barney gets revenge by staging a play of his own. It is so bad that it’s painful to watch, and forces Marshall to give Barney the second of his five slaps.
Funny Quote 1
Robin: Oh, my God. You’ve been robbed.
Ted: Nope. Just got rid of all my old girlfriend stuff.
Robin: All that stuff was from your exes? Didn’t you buy any stuff of your own?
Ted: What can I say? Papa got swag.
Funny Quote 2
Future Ted: New York is famous for its theater, but there are different levels. There’s Broadway; off-Broadway; off-off-Broadway; homeless people screaming in the park; and below that, the play your Aunt Lily was in.
Episode 18 – Moving Day
The plot isn’t that important (Robin and Ted want to move in together but decide against it). The funny part of this episode is that Barney steals the U-Haul that has all of Ted’s stuff in it in order to prevent him from moving in with Robin. However Barney decides that it works perfectly for picking up girls because he can park the U-Haul (which has Ted’s bed inside) behind the bar for when he wants to hook up with a girl.
Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight’s Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would’ve called my truck…
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn’t been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, “The Winne-Bango.” Number nine, “The Pick-Up Truck.” Number eight, “The Ford Explore Her.” Number seven, “The You Scream Truck.” You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, “Feels on Wheels!” Hello! Number five, “The Ride Her Truck.” Number four, “The 18-Squeeler.” Number three, “The Esca-Laid.” Number two, “The Slam-Boney.” and… the number one thing I would’ve called my truck if Ted hadn’t been a jerk and given it back… “The ’69 Chevy.”
Episode 19 – Bachelor Party
This episode follows Lily’s bachelorette and Marshall’s bachelor party. Robin thinks that the party will be full of Lily’s young friends so she buys her a very risqué gift. To her horror however, the party s full of Lily’s family members – her mom, her grandma, her young cousins etc. So Robin switches the card on her gift with another similarly wrapped box. It turns out that the other box was a gift from Lily’s grandmother Lois. Grandma Lois then gives a speech about how many women in her family used what was in the box she was giving Lily (thinking it’s an antique sewing machine) when really she is handing Lily Robin’s gift. AWKWARD.
Barney: Alright, fine, the stripper at Stewart’s Bachelor Party was a 15.
Ted: She was 15?!?!
Barney: A 15…like in blackjack.
Ted: As in, not sure whether you’d hit it?
Episode 20 – Showdown
Summary: Barney believes that his biological father is Bob Barker, so he goes on The Price is Right to meet him.
http://vimeo.com/9028161 (Barney practicing)
http://veevr.com/videos/KGVA7VmTx (Barney spins the wheel)
Episode 21 – Something Borrowed
Summary: It’s Marshall and Lily’s wedding day, and just about anything that can go wrong does go wrong. But they salvage the day by having a beautiful outdoor wedding, just them, Barney, Ted, and Robin, before the real wedding inside. It’s adorable to say the least
Barney: The bride would like the tension out of my shoulders, and she’d like… lets say, you in the inappropriately short dress to rub them
Episode 22 – Something Blue
Summary: It’s the reception of Lily and Marshall’s wedding, but the important part is that we learn Robin and Ted broke up.
Lily: We should come up with a whole new last name.
Marshall: Oh, that’s easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker.
Lily: Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff.
Marshall: Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Have you met our children, our son Totally and our daughter Freaking?
Season 2 Bloopers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpcpByrTTTM