Welcome to Fandom Fight Force
I’m Mike “Flame On” Shanley and where’s my super-suit?
This week it’s the Super Family Feud: The Incredibles vs The Fantastic Four
Ok, well actually before we BEGIN, because this is a group vs group battle, I’ll be pitting the separate members against each other based on their powers and whichever team has the most victories wins. Okay, now that’s all out of the way… BEGIN!
Mr. Incredible vs The Thing
Mr. Incredible is perhaps the most powerful Super in Pixar’s Superhero universe. His power is his incredible strength. This comes with all the benefits: super jump, super durability, super invulnerability, dental.
Mr. Incredible works out by bench pressing freight trains and has punched one of Syndrome’s Omnidroids roughly 20 feet. However, despite being super (see above) he can still be harmed. Syndrome’s Omnidroid cuts through his super-suit and skin. He stopped an incoming train, but it still bruised him up. Whenever explosives are introduced, Mr. Incredible, like most sane people, get the heck out of there.
Benjamin Grimm, also known as The Thing, is one of the more souped-up-superheroes in the Marvel universe. Exposed to cosmic rays when he and the rest of the Fantastic Four visited space, he was mutated into the giant rock-thing we know and love today. The Thing’s entire body went through a mutagenic process that increased the toughness and density of his musculature, bone structure, internal organs, skin, and anything else I forgot to mention. His powers include basically the same thing as Mr. Incredible: super strength, super durability, super stamina, immortality, and 2 weeks vacation. The Thing has lifted oil rigs, stopped 30,000 ton multi-story buildings from falling, and held a bridge’s main cables for an extended period of time with each supporting about 10,000 tons. His skin prevents most injuries and the only thing to cut it is Wolverine’s adamantine claws.
Winner: The Thing. Statistically, The Thing is just stronger and tougher, being a rock monster and all.
Elastigirl vs Mr. Fantastic
Elastigirl’s ability is spelled out in her name. She’s elastic. She is able to reach a maximum stretch of 300 feet and a minimum thickness of 1 mm. That’s a sheet of paper as long as a football field. Imagine playing the Superbowl on that! (It wouldn’t change anything, would it? Yeah… this is why I’m not doing a sports blog.) Anyway, besides from her flexibility that would make Olympian gymnasts jealous, Elastigirl’s molecular makeup combined with her super-suit make her bulletproof as well as resistant to explosions.
As an added bonus, Elastigirl can also shape shift (like when she turned into a boat and a parachute) and support massive loads up to 10,000 pounds, roughly the weight of a Winnebago or half a triceratops. Even though she is an expert at hand-to-hand combat, like any human, blunt force can knock her out.
Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic (what is with these super heroes and picking vague adjectives as their names?) is the leader of the Fantastic Four. His powers come from the cosmic rays that shot through him when in the spaceship he designed and built. His maximum stretching distance is 1,500 feet and minimum thickness is 1 mm. He can also contain explosions by wrapping around them but it is a physically exhausting task. He, too, is bullet-proof and can ricochet the bullets in any direction. He can support loads up to 1,000 pounds and can support more but under extreme conditions and not without hurting himself. Although he has the average strength of a fit 40-something year old, his shape-shifting ability grants him the power to increase his mass and therefore deliver blows with more pounds of force behind them, effectively making himself stronger.
Winner: It’s a tough one, going right down to the wire, but the victor is going to have to be Mr. Fantastic. His ability to become stronger is just too much.
Violet vs The Invisible Woman
Violet Parr is the oldest child of the Incredible family. She has the power to turn invisible and also project force fields. Violet, despite having just figured out how to manipulate her powers is quite adept at it. While mostly playing a defensive game, Violet also knows how to use her powers for offensive purposes. Invisibility can’t really attack anyone, but she can sneak up on people while invisible and attack. Her force fields have a few properties that could really help in fight: they deflect bullets, can act like a wall stop larger objects, they provide protection from very large explosions, and she can contain people inside them. Projecting the force fields can drain her energy and with enough impact, they can be weakened. The fields only remain active as long as Violet is concentrating on them.
Susan Storm, or The Invisible Woman, has the exact same powers as Violet. Notice a pattern?
She can turn invisible and project force fields. However, unlike Violet, she can throw her force fields so that they imitate bullets or large large rocks. Her force fields have about the same properties as Violet’s except they are invisible. They also sap the energy from her and only remain in form as long as she can concentrate on them. One thing that Sue has working against her is her fairly uselessness in most situations. Unlike Violet, who essentially signed up to fight, Sue prefers to not get involved in the action as evidenced by many different instances from the Fantastic Four series. She panics easily and is often in need of rescuing by one of her teammates.
Winner: Again, pretty close, but Violet’s gonna have to take this one. True, Sue, has more powerful fields, but Violet is much more used to a battle. Although just thinking about an all invisible battle using only force fields isn’t the most exciting prospect in the world.
Dash vs. The Human Torch
Dashiell Robert Parr. The kid’s name is “Dashiell”. Please. Just take a moment to appreciate that.
Anyway, Dash has the power of super speed. That and the annoying tendency to be a cocky little kid. He’s a reference on the DC superhero The Flash. His super speed allows him to run up to 190 mph without causing him pain or the friction catching anything on fire. This grants him the ability to run on water which is probably one my favorite scenes from The Incredibles along with the one where he and Violet run around in the force field hamster ball. Aw man, 10-year old me thought that was the coolest/funniest thing in the world. Ahem. Sorry. Where was I? Yes, the super-speed also gives Dash the power of enhanced reflexes, allowing him to dodge anything flying his way. Dash’s speed affects his entire body allowing him to land dozens of blows in the space of a few seconds. Imagine a hummingbird boxing. Dash’s weakness is the fact that he is, after all, only in elementary school.
Johnny Storm, or his much cooler name The Human Torch, got his powers from– you know what? I’m gonna skip that part. His powers include being able to combust into flames at will. This grants him the power of flight, the ability to shoot flames and control the temperature of his surroundings, resistance to heat, and an almost inexhaustible supply of fire-related jokes that makes him one of the most annoying tools in the superhero world.
His body temperature can reach 780 degrees Fahrenheit, his firey missiles can reach 2,800 degrees Fahrenheit, and he can raise his surroundings to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. He can reach speeds of 140 mph when flying and carry 180 pounds. The Human Torch also has the ability to release all the energy in his body in the form of a huge explosion similar to a nuclear warhead in a diameter of 900 feet. This however, essentially knocks him out, making it an ineffective weapon when fighting a super-speedy 4th grader.
Winner: Dash. First of all, the kid can outrun Johnny and any fireball he sends his way. Secondly, if Dash were to run really fast around the Torch, he would deprive the Torch of oxygen, effectively putting out his fire.
So… wait. This is a tie? Well that’s no fun. I’m not gonna take the easy way out and say “They’re all winners!” No. Because I know the tie-breaker:
Ok. So if you were to throw Jack-Jack into either Mr. or Mrs. Incredible’s fights he could tip the scales. The kid can transform into fire, metal, and some monster thing. He is bulletproof because of his super-suit and the metal thing. Also he has laser vision and the ability to become intangible. As an added bonus: HE’S A BABY. No one on the Fantastic Four would hurt a baby. Especially The Thing; the guy’s a big softy.
So. Like all Disney movies, Disney heroes win. Fine. Only if Jack-Jack were to join in, otherwise it’d be a tie. I’m still calling it an Incredible Victory.
Next week it’ll be two masters of swordplay: Aragorn from Lord of the Rings and Link from the Legend of Zelda
My sources aren’t in-credible:
Disney’s The Incredibles
Fantastic Four comics