Hey! To wrap up my series of talking about the differences between Indian and American cultures, I want to discuss a very interesting and distinct topic: marriage and relationships.

In Indian culture, marriage is extremely important and highly regarded as such. The entire process of relationships and marriage is entirely different in America than it is in India- or, well was. Arranged marriage and matchmaking is the norm in India. I am sure just hearing this term makes you uncomfortable: who would want to marry someone their parents picked out for you? But, to understand why this exists, it is important to understand the history of arranged marriage.

Arranged marriage has been a tradition for centuries. After the British created their caste system in India, like I talked about in my previous blog post, there was a lot of separation. To maintain this hierarchy, families were expected to marry into their own caste: no one above or below. Thus, families chose what families they wanted to marry to, usually the one with the biggest dowries. At this time, the children had little to no voice in who they wanted to marry.

Matches were found by each bachelor creating a resume of their biodata. These ‘resumes’ featured height, weight, languages spoken, assets, etc. This information would be shared through different communities, through the newspapers, and word-of-mouth. Although the caste system was abolished in 1948, caste was an important factor for marriage. It still is today for some people. Of course, this is why the issues of colorism, fatphobia, caste discrimination and misogyny very much still exist in India. But today, it is to a smaller extent.

The Netflix show “Indian Matchmaking” does a great job of highlighting the pros and cons of modern arranged marriage. Today, it is not as ‘forced’ as it was in the past. However, the issues that I mentioned above still do persist. However, as an Indian American, I have seen both dating culture and dating-to-marry culture, and I cannot say I strongly favor one instead of the other. Plus, of all the arranged marriages I have been exposed to, none of them had any problems.

My mother and father had an arranged marriage. My father lived in an entirely different city with his family in India. When my dad was ready for marriage, his family started searching for the perfect bride. They did so by spreading the word that there is an eligible bachelor, with more details about age, job, what language he speaks, etc. This new spread to a town that was far away through a common man. While this man was delivering vegetables to my mother’s family’s house, he got the news that my mother was also ready for marriage. When he told the family about my dad, they decided to set up a meeting. After a few meetings, my parents and their families decided it was a great match. And it really was!

Honestly, I think my parents’ story is cool. There is a stigma around arranged marriage, but it is not as bad as it seems. Especially in modern times, the children do get a big say in who they marry. It is not a ‘forced’ wedding. People always ask me if I would get an arranged marriage. To be honest, I do like dating culture, but when I am ready to settle down, I am open to meeting people through my parents. I am not opposed to an ‘arranged’ marriage, but growing up in America, I do see myself finding my own husband. But then again, who knows!

Sources:

An honest perspective on Indian marriage culture in ‘Indian Matchmaking’ (stanforddaily.com)

What is India’s caste system? – BBC News

India loves an arranged marriage, but some say certain aspects are outdated | CNN

Why Indian women consider arranged marriages over love, as per studies – Times of India (indiatimes.com)

Watch Indian Matchmaking | Netflix Official Site

Dating Culture 101 in the United States | ISO (mit.edu)

Picture Sources:

Indian Wedding Traditions (manhattanbride.com)

Indian Wedding Traditions (manhattanbride.com)

Why arranged marriages are gaining momentum in America (funender.com)

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines colorism as ‘prejudice or discrimination especially within a racial or ethnic group favoring people with lighter skin over those with darker skin.’ It is prevalent in many different cultures and locations around the world, but it is most significant in India.

Different skin tones in India

The Indian subcontinent has a variety of different cultures and subgroups. Since India is so diverse and large, there are distinct groups, thus different skin tones. People in the North part of India generally have paler skin, which is more desired. Whereas people in the South parts of India have darker skin tones.

Ancient Indian Texts

In the ancient religious texts, the Mahabharata and the Vedas, different color tones are celebrated equally. Colorism was not engrained in Hinduism, so it did not exist long ago. So how did it come to be? Who created colorism if India was equal in the beginning?

Discrimination started at the time of British colonial rule. The British, who had fair skin, started to spread the idea that their fair skin meant superiority and intellect, and that dark skin meant inferiority. Thus, the Indian Caste System was born, with lighter skin tones in the higher castes and darker skin tones in the lower castes.

Colorism is found in all forms of media, including movies, television, and advertisements. One advertisement that comes to my mind is the Fair and Lovely advertisement. Fair and Lovely is a makeup and skincare brand that marketed a face cream as one that makes your skin lighter. They would take celebrities and make them seem ‘fairer.’ These advertisements were shown on television all the time, and even little children would see them, hoping for a ‘prettier’ skin tone.

Fair and Lovely Advertisement

Colorism can affect people’s mental health, especially for women. I remember whenever I went to India, my uncles and aunts would always comment on people’s skin colors either being so dark or pale. Of course, they are not aware that they are being slightly discriminatory because that is what they grew up with. However, these comments are engrained in them.

Overall, colorism is still prevalent in India. Since the caste system still exists, but is not as prevalent, colorism also exists. There is a long way to go but by highlighting the issue, we get closer and closer to understanding and stopping this discrimination. It is important to talk about colorism, as it may not be that significant in America, but it very much exists in India and many other areas in Asia as well.

Sources:

Colorism Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster

Did colourism always exist in the Indian subcontinent? | The Daily Star

How Fair & Lovely Bottled Up India’s Insecurities – Kajal Magazine

Colourism: A Subtle Form Of Stigma That Has Taken Over Bollywood (inbreakthrough.org)

How Fair & Lovely Bottled Up India’s Insecurities – Kajal Magazine

Veda Vyasa: the sage who compiled the Vedas – Hindu American Foundation

Representation in media is how media, like films and television portrays a certain group of people or a community. This has been a topic of discussing for many years. Especially today, it is extremely controversial topic that filmmakers and even viewers discuss after every movie. Today, I will be focusing on the discussion of India and how India is portrayed in the media.

There are many factors that go into portraying a subcontinent in a film or TV screen. However, many directors simply focus on stereotypes. Here is a list of Indian characters that many of you may be familiar with, along with the stereotype they portray:

Baljeet Tjinder from Phineas and Ferb

Baljeet from Phineas and Ferb

I am sure everyone who grew up watching Disney Channel and Nickelodeon know this character. Baljeet is Phineas and Ferb’s nerdy friend. He is the epitome of an Indian stereotype: a nerdy, grade-obsessed, little boy. He is very grade-obsessed, and he dreads failing his math tests. He is always mocked and bullied, and only portrayed as a nerd.

Ravi Ross from Jessie

Ravi Ross from the Disney Channel show- Jessie

Ravi is part of the Ross family. He was adopted from India with his Asian water-monitor lizard. He is also extremely stereotyped, starting with his accent. He speaks with a heavy accent that never waivers, despite him being raised in America for his whole life. In the show, he is also portrayed as a nerd. His whole personality revolves around school and getting good grades. In one episode, he has an identity crisis and breaks down when he does not do well in school. plays a sitar and screams in Hindi when he is angry.

Raj from Bing Bang Theory

Raj Koothrappali- Big Bang Theory

Raj is an astrophysicist, again, who is portrayed as a nerd. He has a heavy accent, as well and he suffers from anxiety. He is also a heavy gamer and is portrayed as having a gaming addiction. Although he is not as severely stereotyped, he still falls in line with the other examples. He is socially awkward, and only used for comedic effect.

The common denominator between these examples is that they are all nerdy and thick-accented. These Indian stereotypes are so harmful and also inaccurate.

However recently, there has actually been an increase in Indian representation. For example, most recently, the film RRR became extremely successful, especially with its song ‘Naatu Naatu’ winning a Golden Globe and a Grammy. There are also so many more Indian characters that are not being stereotyped. For example, Mo Banjaree from Lemonade Mouth, Devi Vishwakumar from Never Have I Ever, and even Kate Sharma from Bridgerton. So, I am really grateful.

Overall, it is very frustrating to see inaccurate representations of Indian people in the media. Hopefully in the future, there is more representation of Indian people, especially different cultures and subgroups of India.

Let’s Talk About Disney’s Portrayal of Indians – Arts + Culture (affinitymagazine.us)

15 Stereotypes Indians Are Tired Of Seeing In Western Movies & TV (screenrant.com)

Names you can drop. Iconic Indian characters in Hollywood. | Folomojo

What Exactly is Media Representation Anyway? – Arab Film and Media Institute (AFMI) (arabfilminstitute.org)

‘RRR’ Golden Globe Win: Rajinikanth, A.R. Rahman Rejoice – Variety

Pictures:

Baljeet Tjinder | Disney Wiki | Fandom

Ravi Ross | Heroes Wiki | Fandom

Kunal Nayyar, star of The Big Bang Theory, says the show may end soon – BBC News

“You have a great American accent!”

“You’re so pretty for an Indian!”

“Do you like curry?”

These are all questions that stem from microaggression. Microaggressions are subtle forms of discrimination or prejudice that may be unintentional or unconscious, but still have a negative impact on the person who experiences them.

Microaggression

It is the subtlety that makes microaggression different from blatant racism. In this blog post, I will talk about microaggressions against South Asians specifically. Growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood and school district, I dealt with microaggression all the time. Of course, many of the comments were unintentional; however, I never corrected them or said anything about them.

Some examples of microaggressions against South Asians might include:

1. Assuming that all South Asians are the same.

South Asia is a diverse region with multiple states and languages, and assuming that all South Asians are the same (or just Indian) can be seen as erasing their unique identities. There are many states– Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka—that surround India that are often overlooked. So, next time you speak to someone, do not specifically ask if they are from India. Some people are tired of hearing this.

2. Making fun of South Asian accents.

South Indian accents can be distinct from other Indian accents, and making fun of them can be hurtful and perpetuate stereotypes. Of course, the media is not helping at all. Indian characters almost always have some sort of heavy accent and are stereotyped the exact same way. To name a few characters: Baljeet from “Phineas and Ferb” and Ravi from “Jessie.”

Stereotypes Perpetuated Through Media

3. Associating South Asian food only with “spicy” or “exotic” flavors (or just curry).

While South Indian cuisine is known for its use of spices, reducing it to only these characteristics can fail to appreciate the complexity of the cuisine. There is such an extensive menu in South Asia—not just the ‘curries’ and ‘spices.’ Reducing South Asian cooking to just ‘curry’ is not good. No one ever talks about the various desserts in India!

4. Commenting on skin color, saying you are “lighter” or “darker” than someone else.

South Asian have a range of skin colors, and commenting on or making assumptions about their skin color can be offensive and perpetuate colorism. In India, colorism is a crazy issue (and I will cover this in my next blog post.) Being white and having lighter skin is extremely desired. So, after a lifetime of learning ‘brown is dirty, white is good,’ comparing skin tones might not be the best idea.

These are some of the most prevalent microaggressions today. It’s important to recognize and address these subtle comments to create a more inclusive and welcoming environment for all individuals, regardless of their background.

Sources:

Microaggression | Psychology Today

What is a microaggression? How to address subtle racism – Los Angeles Times (latimes.com)

https://thehuronemery.com/2478/opinion/how-stereotyped-tv-minorities-ruined-my-impression-of-myself/

Hello readers! I am back with another blog about race and culture. Today, I will be focusing on the term ‘Third Culture Kid,’ what it means and what it entails.

I did not hear this term until this week during a heated discussion with my roommate. I had told her I was writing about bi-culturalism and being part of two cultures. She then recalled a Hasan Minaj interview where he explained this term, and I immediately thought it was the perfect term to describe this experience.

Political Comedian Hasan Minhaj, ‘Patriot Act’

Third Culture Kid is a term that describes people who “were raised in a culture other than their parents’ or the culture of their country of nationality, and they live in a different environment during a significant part of their child development years” (Wikipedia).  Thus, being a third culture kid (TCK) means being part of and identifying with two different cultures– having a bicultural identity.

I am a TCK. I was born in India, and I moved to America when I was three years old. So, I have lived here all my life. But I visit India every two years and Indian culture is part of my life every day, as well as American culture.

I have had many identity crises growing up a TCK. One of the most prevalent ones was with my hair. I always wanted pin-straight hair like all the other girls in class. I was cursed with frizzy, curly hair, or so I thought. So, I started to straighten my hair frequently because I thought I would look better—I would fit in to the American beauty standard.

That is just one example. It was hard balancing two distinct cultures all my life. Even now, although I am proud and comfortable about who I am, I still think about my identity a lot. At one point, around middle school, I rejected my Indian side almost completely. I felt embarrassed speaking my mother tongue to my parents and brining in Indian food to school. Luckily, in high school, I was surrounded by diversity, so I started getting back to my Indian roots.

My story reflects that of many TCKs around the world. All of us are part of this middle ground, and we can never be 100% one culture or the other. Some of the challenges in being part of this middle ground is having identity crises, culture shock, and confused values.

Van Reken Third Culture Model

Identity crises occur around other people. It starts with self-comparison. Being bi-cultural means constantly comparing yourself to others. Skin color, hair type, etc. On top of this self-conflict, you can experience rejection from both your heritage culture and your second culture. This is called intragroup marginalization, and it is the idea that you cannot meet the expectations of your culture.

Culture shock arises when you visit your heritage culture or are surrounded by people from that culture. Often, you feel nervous or embarrassed when speaking a broken version of another language. It is the feeling of feeling like a foreigner in both cultures.

Finally, confused values. Sometimes, the cultures you belong to have different, possibly contradicting, values. One might be more conservative, and others might value certain topics over others.

Overall, it is a challenge living with two identities. Growing up, you just have to feel secure in your identity and learn not to take what other people say personally. It is not about how many facts you know about your heritage culture or how fluently you speak the language. There is no strict rule on what makes you one culture or the other.

Sources:

Third culture kid – Wikipedia

Comic Hasan Minhaj On Roasting Trump And Growing Up A ‘Third Culture Kid’ : NPR

Identity Crisis: Navigating Biculturalism | Psychology Today

What being stuck between two cultures can do to a person’s psyche (theconversation.com)

6 TCK Diagrams – Interaction International (interactionintl.org)

Hello readers! For my Civic Issue, I decided to write about racial and cultural identity, especially for people of color (POC) in America. Today, for my first civic Issues post, I will be discussing the model minority myth.

The term “model minority” was created in the 1960s by sociologist William Peterson. He used it to describe Japanese Americans who successfully built up their lives after World War II. The “model minority myth” is a myth stemming solely from stereotypes. It is the idea that Asian Americans are geniuses and are extremely smart; and it furthers the assumption that all Asian Americans are high-achieving members of society through not only hard work, but natural brilliance.

Now, you may wonder why this is bad. It seems like Asian-Americans have a good reputation through this definition, right? Well, these stereotypes, although technically positive, have many harmful effects— for Asians as well as other groups.

Variety in Median Household Income for Different Asian Groups

First, like any other stereotype, it erases the individual in favor for the collective. If an Asian student has trouble, it is always considered as the individual’s issue. Teachers may disregard outside influences like instability in at the student’s home. This can cause harmful self-image issues. CNBC describes that, “by positioning Asians as the model minority race, it also assumes that Asians don’t need any help, and don’t require any further examination of how their race is discriminated against.” In school, Asian students were considered to have perfect lives: steady incomes from both the mother and father, access to extra tutoring, and a variety of other helpful tools to do well. But this is not generally true. By assuming that an Asian student has everything, it causes them to feel like they cannot struggle or ask for help. If they do, it is considered that they themselves are the problem.

Pressure on Asian-American students

Second, it pressures students in this group to achieve. Of course, some Asian students have parents that can be strict about education and grades. But imagine this pressure amplified. Imagine comparing grades with a friend, and having them joke about you being Asian, and asking why you did poorly. Or imagine a teacher being disappointed because they did not expect a bad grade from “someone like you.” Even in the workforce, Asians are expected to be great and successful co-workers. All of society expects Asian-Americans to over-achieve, which can be extremely damaging to a person’s mental health.

Finally, and one of the most harmful effects of this myth, is that the model minority myth fuels comparison between races. The biggest comparison has been between the “model Asian-Americans” and Black people. It is the idea that Asian-Americans flipped the old “negative, false stereotypes into true, positive ones” but Blacks did not (NPR). Asians were discriminated against for a long time. The model minority myth implies that Asian-Americans worked hard towards their success and overcame the racism and segregation. (Which is not true in the slightest—Asians are still being hate-crimed to this day!) However, this implies that Black people could not do the same. So, rather than addressing racism, the myth states that Black people are their own problem. Why did they not do the same thing as Asian-Americans and overcome their racism? Like NPR states, it is the idea that “black failure and Asian success cannot be explained by inequities and racism, and that they are one and the same; this allows a segment of white America to avoid any responsibility for addressing racism or the damage it continues to inflict.” Of course, this idea is wrong. It is a terrible comparison only created to accuse Black people of their own racism.

Ultimately, the model minority myth is extremely damaging to many groups. It is important to be aware of this stereotype and its harmful assumptions and effects.

Sources:

‘Model Minority’ Myth Again Used As A Racial Wedge Between Asians And Blacks : Code Switch : NPR

How the model minority myth holds Asian Americans back at work (cnbc.com)

What Is the Model Minority Myth? | Learning for Justice

Pictures:

Asian students discuss how the model minority myth puts unfair standards on Asian Americans | Life + Entertainment | theshorthorn.com

Asian Americans and their origins: Key facts | Pew Research Center