My Adrenaline For The Day
Today in symphonic band, we had circle rehearsal. What that means is, the chairs are in one large circle, and we have to sit next to different instruments than our own. It’s an exercise in listening across the ensemble. I was positioned between a baritone player and a saxophone player. During our first song, I noticed my conductor inching closer to where I was seated, glancing between me, the baritone, and the saxophone. (Which, as I type it out, sounds like the introduction to a bad joke).
My conductor cut off the entire band, pointed at me with his baton, and said, “You’re sharp; play me a C.” Needless to say, my heart rate skyrocketed. I then had to tune my horn in front of the entire band, all silent, just watching me. Thankfully, my time in my uncomfortable spotlight was quick, and my conductor then moved onto others like a shark who’d just picked up a fresh scent of blood. Still, I found myself a little on edge for the next half hour.
Nervous? That’s Alright, Actually
If somebody comes up to you and claims to never be nervous—for performances, auditions, job interviews, anything—there’s a 100% chance that they’re lying. Everyone deals with nerves in one way or another for different things. Performance anxiety is something that new musicians and professionals alike have to work through. It can be horrible sometimes; you panic and your mind goes blank, and you’ve forgotten everything you’ve ever played, every technique you’ve worked on. Other times it can just be uncomfortable. You might get sweaty or shaky, or have cramps in your stomach (I’ve had all three). Once, I was so nervous for an audition that walking into the room, I tripped, and walking out of the room, I tripped again in the exact same spot. (It’s funny now, but at the time… oof.)
The trick is, I’ve found, isn’t to try and fight your nervous energy. That can only make you more nervous, or it may make your performance suffer. Instead, I find it’s helpful just to acknowledge that you are nervous, and know that there’s nothing you can do about that. I personally like to focus in on what I’m feeling, and spin it from a negative into a positive. Let the nervous energy melt away into excited energy. There’s a very subtle change, but it makes all the difference!
For example—and this can apply to anyone in any situation—if you focus on your nerves, it just takes up more of your mental energy. It’s difficult when you’re trying to focus on, say, a performance, if you’re also trying to focus on how nervous you feel. If I’m already nervous for an audition, I certainly don’t need the added pressure of worrying about my worrying. Instead, accepting your amped-up feelings ironically calms you down just a little. Yes, you may be nervous, but that does not have to derail your playing. On the contrary, use that extra energy to your advantage! In sports or performance or job interviews, a little pep and enthusiasm goes a long way.
Easier Said Than Done
Of course, if it were that easy to never be nervous again, then nobody would ever be scared about anything in their lives. It’s alright if it takes a while to work through. Being nervous, and “curing” that nervous energy, is just something everyone has to deal with eventually. It helps me if I have a daily exercise routine. Exercising burns off my excess energy, and so I have less anxiety while trying to play. Taking a few deep breaths helps too. It’s really up to you! But the main thing to keep in mind is that it’s quite alright to be nervous. Literally everyone is. Just take a few seconds to acknowledge what you’re feeling. There are a lot of obstacles to music-making—don’t let anxiety be one of them!