Have you ever fallen in love? If you said yes to the question, let me ask you this, why did you fall in love? Personally, yes, I have fallen in love before, at least I think it was love. If you ask me why I fell in love with the guy, I would say, it was because it was him. I don’t know the specific reasons as to why I fell for this guy.
According to dictionary.com, love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; or a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. In the article Science of Attraction, to Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and professor at Rutgers University who studied love for over 30 years, love is a drive that happens in three parts, the first is lust, stimulated by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen; the second part is romantic love, driven by dopamine and serotonin and activated by cocaine and heroin. Finally, attachment is cultivated by oxytocin, and vasopressin, an important chemical for commitment. And she says love is a chemical concoction and an addiction.
But why do we fall in love though? Appearance, right? In the article Why Do People Fall In Love?, The researchers at the University of Texas found that women with a low waist-to-hip ratio (in which the waist is significantly narrower than the hips) are more attractive to men than those with wider waists. They believe that a good waist-to-hip ratio may subconsciously signal to a man that a woman has good health and reproductive ability.
Next, Chivalry. A survey by the University of Chicago showed that people who agreed with altruistic statements, like “I’d rather suffer myself than let the one I love suffer,” reported more happiness in their marriage than those who did not concur with those statements.
There is a saying that “opposites attract each other” but the researchers who has helped explained the phenomenon of doppelganger couples, found that people are actually more attracted to people who have similar traits and appearances.
But let’s get real here. Even though there are billions of researches on love, nobody truly knows about love. I think that is why love is so great. (even though it could be very much so hurtful sometimes) When you fall in love, you don’t study love, you just feel it.
P.S there are some tips on how to keep the flame alive in case you are in love right now.
– “Do novel things” – that drives up the dopamine system.
– “Stay in touch physically” – hold hands, lie in your lover’s arms. Touch drives up oxytocin.
– “Say nice things to each other on a daily basis” – positive illusion is the ability to look past the negative and accentuate the positive.
This is so interesting! What a coincidence that I just wrote a similar blog (more about attachment within love thought) and used the research done by Helen Fisher. She really has discovered some interesting factors of love. On Netflix, there’s a documentary called “The Science of Sex Appeal” which is interesting to consider when research love. Like you quoted, love comes in three stages, the first being lust, which consists of mainly appearance, or sex appeal. They go deep into ever aspect of physical attraction, which leads to lust. They discuss facial features, bodily features, and one I find the most interesting, the sound of your voice. It’s really fascinating.
I couldn’t agree more though, that love is love and no matter how hard you think about it and deliberate all the unanswered questions about it, the feeling will forever be indescribable 🙂
I really liked your post; I have always been obsessed with learning about love. I believe that yes there are different forms of love as you mentioned. I found these two articles that might interest you, they talk about the brain chemistry and how that effects the way we love. One of the articles actually talks about women who are on birth control. It explains how it fluctuates your hormones and this can have an impact on who you are sexually, emotionally, and romantically attracted to. Stats have shown that a lot of women who come off the pill may not be still attracted to the person who they are with. This can be anything from body odor, personality, or sexual chemistry. Check out the article you might find it to be intriguing!
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/blogs/the-human-condition/2009/10/07/birth-control-bummer-the-pill-may-affect-attractiveness-but-don-t-give-up-on-oral-contraceptives-yet.html
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/blogs/the-human-condition/2009/10/07/birth-control-bummer-the-pill-may-affect-attractiveness-but-don-t-give-up-on-oral-contraceptives-yet.html