I’ve always been a lover of kids. Not only are they adorable, but they have brains like sponges, and are so easy to teach. Kids are our future, so I always thought that it was important to put most of my attention on them, the future generation. Because I have such an interest in children,I have always been concerned with ways that I can encourage their optimal development. I often wonder what is the best for child development? What’s the worst? These are questions that are constantly circling my mind.
When I was younger, my parents used to always reward me when I did something good. A good grade on a test, or a golden sticker always won me an extra treat after dinner. They would praise me for how smart I was, and how good of a job I had done. But now as I have gotten older, I wonder, was that really the best way my parents could have encouraged my good performance?After doing some research, I realized it wasn’t.
According to ABC News , who referred to studies done by scientist Carol Dweck, parents should refrain from telling their children that they are smart. When we tell children that they are smart, we emphasize the importance of the task, instead of the amount of work needed to complete the task. It is more likely that telling your kids they are smart will backfire if the importance of effort is not stressed. It creates an idea that intelligence is something you are born with, not something that you can work hard to strengthen. In fact, it actually hinders their growth and academic performance, because children are unwilling to take on tasks that are unfamiliar to them.
Who would’ve thought that verbal praise could really have negative effects? Not me. I’m glad that I looked into this study. Now I know that when I become a mom, I’ll make sure I’ll tell my children, “great job! you worked so hard.” instead of ” that was great! you’re so smart.” because in the long run, it’ll make them much better suited for the challenges they’ll face.
Source: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2012/02/why-you-shouldnt-tell-your-kids-theyre-smart/
Really good topic choice. Praise definitely has its pros/cons. I definitely think it’s important to reward and praise a child when they actually do something good. However, the praise just for praising, or giving a participation ribbon so none of the kids feel bad is a little much. Sometimes kids need to try a bit harder or care a little more about something. My parents were similar to yours in the way of praising. I don’t know if I would go 100% with the article though.
I agree and disagree with telling children they’re smart. I believe in rewarding kids for doing well in school and a sticker or two here and there never hurt anyone. When we do really well we want to let someone know to know that someone’s proud of accomplishment, not just us. I also agree with the fact that it sets up kids for disappointment from failure. Every once and a while you’re not going to do so great on a test and you shouldn’t feel like an utter failure from one bad test,having been rewarded for all of the A’s we should at least receive the acknowledgment we tried our best but something went wrong so that next time we know how we should study and prepare for tests.
I can really relate to the results of that study. My parents would tell me that I’m smart and I started putting a lot of pressure on myself to keep that status with them. It resulted in a lot of nervous breakdowns, I’ll definitely be encouraging my kids to do their best and praising them for hard work rather than supposed natural ability.
At first I was convinced that we shouldn’t tell our kids that they are smart. However, I read the article below and they made a valid point. They stated that when kids were told that they were smart that they had a greater fear of failure. I can completely understand that emotion. It is easier to prove that you are a hard worker than it is to prove that you are smart. It might be a better idea to take the pressure off and not tell kids that they are smart.
http://www.unlearning101.com/fuhgetaboutit_the_art_of_/2009/07/unlearning-intelligence-or-why-you-shouldnt-tell-your-kid-hes-smart.html