“Attachment is the source of all suffering” -Buddha

Starting from conception to the grave we as humans rely on others. We constantly need support, interaction and attention, some more than others, but it is a basic human need. This then leads to attachment. We become attached to these people that fulfill this need. It’s evident that an example of this is the attachment to your parents, specifically your mother. She carried you for 9 months and gave you the nourishment and everything you need to be born and become the person you are today. This is a natural attachment due to the hormone oxytocin that is realized during labor. 

I’d like to focus on the attachment between adult relationships, which scientists have found are extremely similar to those of child-to-caregiver. The attachment process plays out into adulthood. Researchers Hazan and Shaver (1987) were the first to explore the theory of attachment in the context of romantic relationships. The interactions between a child and a caregiver are surprisingly similar to a romantic relationship. Here are some examples they came up with:

•  both feel safe when the other is nearby and responsive

•  both engage in close, intimate, bodily contact

•  both feel insecure when the other is inaccessible

•  both share discoveries with one another

•  both play with one another’s facial features and exhibit a mutual fascination and preoccupation with one another

•  both engage in “baby talk”

–  “A Brief Overview of Adult Attachment Theory and Research” by R. Chris Fraley – University of Illinois 

—http://internal.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm

As I stated before the hormone oxytocin is the scientific cause for attachment. This hormone is realized during labor and during sex. The fact that it is released during sex is interesting when looking at romantic attachment. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and professor at Rutgers University has studied love and attraction for more than 30 years. She states that “love is a drive that happens in three parts”, the last part being attachment which is cultivated by oxytocin. She also states that romantic love is an addiction. The more you experience it, the more you need it. This is mainly because the oxytocin builds and builds, along with the hormone serotonin (the happy hormone), which again makes you crave that feeling.

–http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-science-of-attraction-20130531-2ng42.html

It’s funny while researching this I couldn’t help but think of Kesha’s song “Your Love is My Drug.” Love is literally a drug. You become attached to the feeling it gives you, the same way people become attached to the feeling drugs give them. This attachment (aka addiction) is felt through both romantic love and, like I said before, the relationship of child-to-caregiver. It’s so interesting how our bodies rely on, carve and NEED this feeling. I know I’m 100% guilty of it! 

We’ve all had that strange “I’ve been here before” experience. When I experienced this for the first time, I truly thought I had a sixth sense (or eleventh? according to what I learned in class last week). Until I found out that it’s actually a thing and this happens to just about everyone. We refer to this feeling as a deja vu, a french phrase meaning “already seen”. I took AP Psych in high school and I recall learning about memory. This relates a lot to the deja vu. According to my research, and what I remember from Psychology, our brain has two different areas that one, deal with recalling memories and two, deal with familiarity. These two portions almost always work in sync. The few occasions that they do not sync properly is a theory as to why deja vu occurs. Say the familiarity portion misfires, this will in turn create a strong sense of familiarity. Now, this theory is kind of above my head because I don’t understand why a portion of the brain would just “misfire”. Scientists today don’t even have an exact answer. I guess it just happens? Ugh, no I want answers.