I came from an all-girls high school (to which most people respond “is it weird going to school with guys now?!” If you were going to ask that, the answer is “not really I still have guy friends…”) where all of us felt comfortable eating around each other. People baked mountains of cupcakes and brownies when it was your birthday. There would be trays of pizza sitting in commons areas after lunch club meetings had leftovers. When we were bored we might go to McDonald’s or Chipotle. Maybe it was this sense of generosity or maybe it was the fact that my friends have watched me eat abnormally unhealthy amounts of food, but the bond I have with my friends is truly extraordinary. We all can be ourselves around each other no matter how weird, and our group conversation of 18 girls constantly has updates, even though we are all over the United States.
I always assumed it was the idea of being around girls all the time that made us so close, because we could be as weird as we wanted. Could it be the fact that we openly ate that added to this bond?
Think about it. When you go on a date, you usually go for dinner/lunch/ice cream or fro yo. Sometimes for interviews or more formal meetings you will go get coffee. You have probably gone out to innumerable birthday dinners. Other freshmen especially will understand that when someone comes up to you and says “want to get lunch?” it’s a huge compliment and possibly the beginning of a new friendship. What is it about eating in front of someone that seems to connect people?
People always seem to be connecting over food. My freshman seminar bonded yesterday over the fact that the State College Chipotle closed down, and then everyone had an opinion on burrito or burrito bowl. This website suggests that men should take a girl to a date to restaurants saying, “good food sets the right mood for dates.” This Cornell study stresses the importance of families finding time to eat together. And lastly, in this blog post I found a girl countered her own eating disorder by eating with her mom then her husband and continues to make the point that eating together is instinctive, influential of our attitudes, and important to who we are.
On a much more serious note, eating disorders stem can stem from many causes, such as psychological symptoms. Mental Health America outlines that although there are societal causes and pressures to be skinny, it can also be a direct result of traumatic experiences, depression, low self-esteem, and “using food as a way to cope with negative emotions.” I always assumed close-mindedly that magazine covers and beautiful models were the primary cause of eating disorders. However, those with anorexia will not eat in front of other people and also “withdraw into self and feelings, becoming socially isolated” (Mental Health America). Possibly, as the victim stops feeling comfortable eating around her friends, she feels she can’t connect with them at all creating a vicious cycle of starvation and loneliness.
What connection does eating have to relationships we develop?
This is a really interesting blog!!! I feel like the way you connect food and relationship and people’s emotion together makes this blog so neat. Personally, I really enjoy eating. I think eating can easily make people feel happy and satisfied. I think maybe its not the eating itself, or our brain may produce something make us happy while we are eating? Here is an article about eating related to happiness. http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/food-happiness.htm
Chloe, It is truly amazing the connection people can have over food. I went to an all boys high school, so in the reverse we ate a ton around each other. Either way some of the best moments of high school where spent at the lunch table with friends enjoying food. I appreciate your topic and that you gave a further look into the scientific side of whether food is good for the soul or not. here is a link to what are some of the rated best soul food restaurants. take a look. Thanks for the post. http://www.localeats.com/top-10-restaurants-in-america/top-10-soul-food-restaurants-in-america
Chloe, while I really enjoyed your article, I think there’s a few other things to consider. The article from Cornell that you cited as evidence for why families that eat together are healthier doesn’t actually support your claim. The two researchers “Musick and Meier find that previous research may have overstated the linkages between family meals and child well-being. Their research suggests most of the linkage between family meals and youth outcomes is actually due to characteristics that differentiate families that engage in family meals from those who do not (i.e., youth age and gender, racial background, family income, family structure, parental education, maternal employment, and family relationship quality).” While I don’t doubt that there are positive benefits to eating healthy while being surrounded by people who support you in that, I think that the more important variable in this equation is the being with supportive people and not necessarily the eating together component.
I loved reading this post, mostly because I love discussing anything that has to do with food. Food is such a huge way to bond with people, but I never realized what a strong connection there is, and I’m glad that somebody wrote about it. It’s true that people seem to bond more easily when food is involved; at home when my friends and I decide to have a girl’s night, there’s always huge amounts of food there. You can start a conversation with anyone about Chipotle, Pokey sticks, Canyon pizza, or basically anything unhealthy. You immediately like someone that brings up the same foods that you like, and it’s a basic icebreaker. It really is interesting why this happens, which is why I loved this post.
I never made this connection either! Girls bonding over food will always be stronger than going on a date in my opinion. My friends and I take funny pictures of each other eating food and even encourage each other to go for that second cookie. I think that there is such a high standard for women having table etiquette so that when we are with our girlfriends or men with their best friends, it creates a safe place to eat whatever we want and however we want. Also, I totally agree that forming new friendships stem from the presence of food. At the WIB meeting, when discussing events that were taking place, the President kept saying, “..and there will be food.” You took a very interesting stance and it definitely helped link things together!
I love the fact that your post focuses on food, relationships, friends, and the soul. Funny thing is, I never thought about food in this aspect. I always assume a date means going out to dinner, or a job interview means stopping at Starbucks for some coffee. But never did I correlate the two! So, if it is true that people connect to food than why is our country so stuck on being skinny? Isn’t it more important to communicate and discover rather than fit into a size zero pair of jeans? If food is so good for the soul, our country should focus on ways to improve the industries that supply these products rather than focus on which celebrity has thunder thighs and love handles.
Check this out: http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/diet-fitness/weight-loss/5-health-problems-caused-by-being-thin.htm
I love the fact that your post focuses on food, relationships, friends, and the soul. Funny thing is, I never thought about food in this aspect. I always assume a date means going out to dinner, or a job interview means stopping at Starbucks for some coffee. But never did I correlate the two! So, if it is true that people connect to food than why is our country so stuck on being skinny? Isn’t it more important to communicate and discover rather than fit into a size zero pair of jeans? If food is so good for the soul, our country should focus on ways to improve the industries that supply these products rather than focus on which celebrity has thunder thighs and love handles.