Jealousy: Every one of us has experienced jealousy, or knows someone that has. Boys get jealous, girls get jealous. But who gets more jealous?
To begin, let’s define exactly what jealousy is. Jealousy is an emotion that appears when someone believes their relationship with someone else is being threatened by a third party. A person can feel anything from anger to humiliation when jealous. Others are afraid they will lose their loved one.
In a study of 500 middle school aged children, it was shown that the females in the study were actually more jealous than the boys. The researchers believed this was because of “the idea that girls have higher standards of loyalty, kindness, empathy and commitment than boys” (Hoyt, 2008). Is the same thing true when kids reach adulthood?
The answer is complicated. In a study of 3,000 Swedish twins, when asked to report jealously levels on sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity (which is when two people have intimacy and closeness that is more intimate or just as intimate as the person you are involved with), women were more jealous in both situations in general. But there was a catch- men were much more concerned about the fact of sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity, while women were the opposite! This interesting difference was found not just once, but in multiple studies of women and men while studying jealousy. Chapman University did the largest study to date on jealousy, and 54% of straight men would be more upset about sexual infidelity versus emotional infidelity compared to only 35% of straight women.
So why is this? Why do men get more jealous about sexual infidelity and women more jealous about emotional infidelity? According to a research report about sex differences in jealousy by four scientists from the University of Michigan, men are much more upset about sexual infidelity for evolutionary reasons. While women always know that they are the mother of their offspring, men are not always so sure. If a women cheats on their partner, the man will not know if his genes are being passed on, which is a instinctual goal for all humans. So, in order for males to make sure that their genes are being passed down, they are naturally more concerned about sexual infidelity of their partner.
Women, on the other hand, are much more scared of losing their partner to another woman. This is explained in the book “The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex” by David M. Buss. The commitment of a man in the past has given women a sense of security in feeling that they will always have protection, food, and help with the children. If a man gets emotionally attached to another woman, the woman loses her sense of protection and survival in her environment, as well as her resources. Since women are also taught to be nurturing and emotionally invested in relationships, a woman’s confidence about herself could be harmed through a man cheating emotionally. Therefore, women care much more about emotional infidelity versus sexual infidelity (although women, do in fact, care about that very much as well).
So, in the end, it turns out that while women are a tad bit more jealous, they are jealous about very different things than men are. Next time you feel yourself getting jealous, you can blame it on your natural instinct to reproduce. See if that one works next time your partner says you’re too jealous!
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This was a very interesting post about jealousy. I feel as though many men accuse women as being “the jealous ones” or of being “too jealous” but it seems as though both sexes are jealous, just in a different way. When doing further research on this topic, I found this link http://news.health.com/2015/01/14/straight-men-more-prone-to-jealousy-over-sexual-infidelity-study/ that suggests that women are also more emotionally jealous because they are afraid of losing the man they depend financially. I feel that this is a rather outdated concept, and that women are just as capable as men to go out and make their own money. Perhaps emotional jealousy will fade away as more women become independent in the modern age.
I think it’s interesting that men and women focus on different infedilities than the opposite sex. I don’t think either side really understands why they get jealous, but it’s a natural feeling. Although jealousy can’t always be justified, having scientific reasons behind it allows for a person to understand it more. With men I think it has to do with their desire for power and that feeling of control. Likewise for women, I agree with the fact that they need the security and reassurance. Maybe I will use this argument next time I get jealous!
Hi, I am Dongyuan Li from HM major. Your blog is pretty interesting. Indeed I think girls are more easily to get jealousy. Actually, not only human but also animal have the sense of jealous. I once read a story from a maganize called “Reader” in my hometown. It is said that their is a couple keep two dogs as pet. They have a very good relationship like family. However, after this couple have a baby everything changed. The two dogs found that the couple do not focus on them as before. They began jealousy on the baby and one day the two dogs killed the baby. When the couple found out that, they were so desperate and the husband shoot the dog. In some familys, the first born child will jealous on the second born child. I think jealous is really bad for family relationship.
I found this blog to be really interesting because I remember learning about this in my psychology class. I hate having the feeling of jealousy but we all experience it. Sometimes I wish I could just tell myself not to be jealous but since it is a natural instinct, it’s kind of hard to do that. With the study you found on middle school kids, I agree that females get more jealous than males because females have higher standards at a younger age than males. I think this has to do with maturity levels and how females mature at younger age faster than males. So as females mature, they start to develop in their minds this idea of how males should act. No matter what, everyone gets jealous, but we all have our own reasons.
It is really interesting that men and women are more concerned about different aspects of infidelity. I never thought about men wanting to ensure that it is there genes being passed down, I always just associated it with being over protective. I guess they boil down to the same thing though! Women being more concerned with the emotional infidelity makes a lot of sense due to the evolution of a women’s roles over time. Infidelity on all levels is wrong, but I appreciate that there is a science behind it so next time I get jealous I am not being totally unreasonable!