We have all heard of some of the greatest love stories of time, Allie and Noah, Haley and Nathan, Baby and Johnny. Well the big question is are they soulmates? Is this uncontrollable intense love realistic or purely the making of Hollywood dreams?
Allie and Noah from “The Notebook”
The word soulmate is defined as “a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond.” This word comes with the notion of an ideal person who you are predestined to be with for all of eternity and will bring you pure joy. But…there is catch, according to this website your soulmate is “set at birth” can occur in the future (meaning they are not born yet) or in the past (meaning they could already passed away.) That is not the only bad news the website carries, it also reminds us that we live in a world with nearly seven billion human beings, and you my friend could have a soulmate who was born anywhere in it.
Spike W.S. Lee who is an assistant marketing professor at the University of Toronto’s Rotman School school of management believes the term “soulmate” may be the wrong way to look at it. Actually, he even believes it may be “detrimental to long-term contentment.” Lee even did a study where he asked couples if they felt they were looking for “The One”, or a “Life long compromise-filled journey.” The results showed that the ones who responded that they were looking for a “Life-long compromise-filled journey” actually seemed to be happier in the long term and people who look at their partner as a soulmate seemed to show more disappointment.
In conclusion, I agree with the article, the the word soulmate is a bit strong. I think it gets peoples expectations unrealistically high and brings a sense of false hope. The fact about life is science can only go so far or prove so much, there comes a time where fate, or God steps in. This whole thing will then bring in the science vs. religion debate, but no matter what you believe or what you put your faith in, I personally think that every day you have certain encounters with certain people for one reason or another. If there is a possibility that someday you are lucky enough to find someone that you are “hollywood crazy” about, then so be it.
I agree with you, the term soulmate is perhaps a little too strong. Even though lots of us love the idea of finding “the one” and a person we are “destined to be with”, it seems unlikely and it’s a little depressing to think about since, like you said, there are 7 billion people in the world. However, I agree that it’s very possible to still find someone you are crazy about and that you still consider them to be “the one”.Psychology Today has an interesting article on the keys to a successful long term relationship, which I think is consistent with this theory.
When I was reading this article it reminded me of hearing that by the age of 18 you have met the person that you are going to marry. I do agree with you that the term soulmate is a very intense and powerful word. Growing up and watching all these movies where two people would “magically” fall in love I believe that it has set very high standard for girls at a young age. Just like Katie and Lisa mentioned in the posts above, I think that people do find someone that is perfect for them in the long run and that love finds its way.
Here is a short clip from my favorite movie The Notebook. Enjoy!
I’d have to agree that soulmates is a strong term. But I definitely believe that there is someone on the earth that is made for each of us. I’d also have to agree with you that our encounters each day are meaningful and happen for a reason, as does everything else. Each of our experiences and contacts lead us to something special. Interesting post!