Hey all! It’s Abby, your friendly neighborhood TA. I know things are getting under the wire for blog period one, and a lot of you are doing the smart thing and asking for help! I wanted to take the time to talk to you all about the best ways to do that. Before I really get into it, I can’t stress enough that I’m not at all upset or even frustrated by any of my interactions with you guys because truth be told I know exactly what it’s like to be in your shoes. In this blog post, I’m going to talk about email etiquette, the best ways to ask and receive help and constructive criticism, and a little about in-person interactions.

First, I’d like to talk about why I think this is necessary. The other TAS and I have gotten a lot of emails about technical problems and requests for blog advice, and I love it! I’m so glad that you guys are taking advantage of your resources in this class by asking for advice. I also love reading and giving feedback on writing: it’s amazing to see how people can develop their reasoning, analysis, and rhetoric. That said, a lot of these requests have come in less-than-ideal ways. Again, while it doesn’t faze me much, I do want to emphasize how important it is to talk to others diplomatically–especially when you’re talking to them electronically. Again, it hasn’t personally offended me when I’ve gotten emails from you that don’t follow these guidelines, but it’s entirely possible and probable that someone else will, someone who even has influence over your grades, job prospects, and life. For that reason, it’s a good idea to follow these no matter who you’re emailing.

Advice for Appropriate Emails:

• Do your homework. Researching things ahead of time will save the person you’re emailing a lot of time. That’s always a plus when you’re looking for help or advice. In this class, if you need blog help or are unclear about expectations, checking Instructor Posts and/or the syllabus can often give you the answers you need. Even if they don’t, letting the person (like the TAs or Andrew) know that you checked there first demonstrates a respect for that person’s time and a commitment to the class/job/etc.
• Greet your audience. If the person is a doctor, a professor, a coach, or anything else that comes with a title in front of his or her name, make sure to put that in your greeting unless that person has made it clear that it’s okay not to do so.
• Say something about why you’re emailing or some other kind of introduction. “I hope you are enjoying your weekend,” “I wanted to ask you about…,” “Loved what we discussed the other day…,” “Hope that your semester/summer/break/sabbatical/etc. is going well.” Whatever seems the most appropriate given the circumstance and to whom you’re talking.
• Ask about whatever you need ask about, or respond to whatever you need to respond to, in a polite, considerate way. My mom used to say “your emergency is not my emergency,” and she was on to something. You may be worrying or getting frustrated about something, but that doesn’t mean you should write “ASAP,” “I need,” or “right away.” You can still feel those emotions and express them, but do it in a diplomatic way. The person you’re writing to might receive fifty “ASAP emails” a day. If you’re on a time budget, consider whether that is something you could have controlled. Acknowledge that (i.e. “I know that I am emailing you late, but I hope you can help me…” or “I apologize for emailing you late but because of…I couldn’t address this sooner…”). I’ll revise my mom’s statement to this: “Your emergency isn’t necessarily my emergency, but I’ll help if you say please.” This is even more crucial if you are frustrated or angry. Always take time to think about how people will react to your words and tone.
• Explain. The best way you can interact with someone and get what you need is to explain your situation. If you’re struggling, not understanding, having a specific technology problem, or whatever else, explain it. That’s the best way that you can humanize yourself and inform the person of the best he or she can help you. It also helps with the diplomacy component.
• Check your spelling and grammar. Just do it. That means pay attention to punctuation and capitalization too.
• End with some sort of goodbye (Thank you, Thanks, Sincerely, Best, etc.) Make sure that at some point you have thanked the person in a way that doesn’t seem like you’re rushing out of a grocery store.

Receiving Advice and Constructive Criticism:

• Respond politely. Acknowledge that someone has tried to help you, even if you’re not a fan of how they did so. (“Thanks again for reading this over for me and taking the time to give me your advice…,” “I appreciate you looking into this issue for me….”)
• If you disagree, still have a problem, and/or need more explanation or help, say so, but again, make sure that you’re doing so in a polite way. Remember that people are usually doing their best, they practically always have other responsibilities, and certainly are just human.
• Don’t send emails when you’re angry, frustrated, or extremely sad. I’m saying it again because this is super important. You have the advantage to take time to think and revise when you communicate electronically, so use that advantage. Even if you’re just saving yourself from sending an email with slight attitude, it’s worth it.

Almost all of this can be translated to in-person interaction. Say hi to the person you’re talking to, whether it’s a TA, a professor, a secretary, a future employer, or a classmate! Besides the fact that it’s a good thing to be nice to everyone, you never know what connections and influences someone you’re talking has. Ask if they have the time for your question and speak politely, remembering that you’re asking for help. Say thank you! It’s real easy to forget that people are more than just characters in your life, especially if you’re in your first year of college and there are so many variables changing in your life. Still, remembering this will go a long way.

If you have any questions about this, feel free to comment below or send me an email! Happy Thursday!