When was the last time you got in an argument with your mom? Do you remember who ended up getting the upper hand?
Well, it turns out there is research that shows that adolescents who quickly back down during an argument with their mother have a harder time resisting peer pressure to use drugs and alcohol than teens who can hold an argument with their mom in a calm and persuasive manner.
A study conducted at the University of Virginia explored the relationship between parent-child relationships and the child’s susceptibility to negative influences to use drugs or alcohol. Using a diverse pool of participants of more than 150 families, the researchers observed the daily interactions of the children at ages 13, 15, and 16, and asked all of them to answer questionnaires. Results found that adolescents who held their own in family discussions were better at standing up to peer pressure to use drugs or consume alcohol. The most skilled of the group were the teens who were able to persuade their mothers with reasoned arguments rather than by yelling, whining, or complaining when talking about contentious issues like grades, money, friends, and household rules.
These results indicate that a healthy level of autonomy demonstrated by a teenager may carry over into his or her peer relationships. According to the study’s lead author Joseph P. Allen, it may be that teens who are secure in their ability to turn to their mothers under stress aren’t as overly dependent on their peers and, as a result, are less likely to be influenced by their friends’ behavior when it is negative. I agree wholeheartedly with this statement, as it makes sense that a certain level of confidence brought on by communicating effectively with their mothers may induce teens to take their friends’ behavior with a grain of salt.
I’m curious to know how the researchers determined the teenagers’ level of influence from their friends to take up drugs and alcohol. This article explains that their friends were surveyed independently on the subjects’ drug and alcohol influences, but this isn’t very specific and doesn’t seem to be the most accurate measure of peer pressure susceptibility. I think a meta-analysis would be beneficial here to test statistical significance as well as investigate any possible confounding variables such as the mothers’ daily presence (how often the adolescent gets to see their mom on a daily basis might affect how close they are to her). That or a blind control procedure (where the researchers record the teenagers’ interactions with peer pressure in a naturalistic setting) could yield better, further results.
While these findings don’t mean parents should let their kids win every argument, they do underline the idea that parent-teen relationships as well as social skills are integral in the way teens handle peer relationships as they grow up. So next time you get into an argument with your parent, don’t hesitate to hold your ground and take charge of the argument, especially if you’re one who’s susceptible to peer pressure. Even if it’s something you’ve never done before, try communicating in a more calm and persuasive tone instead of resorting to your usual yelling and pressuring regime. You never know, it could help you to be less easily swayed by negative influences in your life.
This blog post was very interesting because I always believed that children who always argued with their parents were worse under peer pressure and lied more to their parents. Your post was very well explained though because it does make sense that they will set their ground and is able to say no. It questions me though that although they are good at standing their ground, they may just completely go against their parents’ beliefs. This is another rising thought that should be further experimented.
I found this very interesting, because we all have disagreements with our parents, and throughout the years if I think about peer pressure, I did have a lot more confidence in myself and not backing down when it comes to arguing that, I wasn’t one to give into peer pressure. I knew what was best for me, and had enough in me to not agree to it. It is interesting to also look at parent-teen arguments do play a role in social skills growing up.
I think it is very hard to do studies like this because there’s a high risk for third variables, like how a child was raised before the study, where the child lives, other factors, I think it is hard to categorize parent/ daughter relationships but since you did your blog on it, let’s analysis it. According to Psychology Today, 88 percent of adults say their mother had a positive influence on their lives and 60 percent of women say that their mother was more influential in their lives than their father. So to deeper the study and blog you could see if this behavior is just with mothers or if it is true that mothers have more of an influence on the child rather than the father.
Literally the first statement and the result of the argument made this post so true and eye opening. It makes perfect sense that not backing down to your parents trains you to not back down to your peers. You’re not giving in to what you want and/or think is best for you so of course that will train you when you have to deal with peers. This proves true in life experiences since I was never agreeing with my mom but feel confident enough to say no to anything I dont really want to do.