Science… we tried. We really did. At first I was like “Damn Science, you’re kinda cool”. You had all these cool TV shows with potato clocks, potato guns, and… pretty much anything having to do with potatoes was awesome. You would make explosions out of nothing and don’t even get me started on Volcanos. Volcanos are by far the most badass thing science has ever done. It’s like the Earth is popping its most deadly pimple.
I started questioning you towards the end of seventh grade. My teacher handed me a paper and I’d never felt so betrayed in my life. It was a series of random boxes with elements and numbers that made me lightheaded. The evil teacher looked down on me and said “Learn it. Love it. This is the periodic table, the basis of all Science”. How could you do this to me, Science? You pretended all along that you didn’t suck, but then BAM… you suck. I shouldn’t have forgiven you because you only became more aggressive in High School. You abused me. You threw numbers and elements and theories and quotes by old people at me. I felt trapped. But here, at Penn State, I’m ending it. I’m done being your bitch, Science. It’s time to take control of my learn life. I’m going to take SC200 and learn cool things like the sexual orientation of animals and why I’m toxic. Andrew will take our minds on a wild ride into the depths of interesting concepts and possibilities, all while maintaining a possibly staged New Zealand accent.
For further reference on why I hate you, here are the reasons that you, and your friends, are hated. It’s over between us, Science. I will remember the good times: The Bill Nye show, the first season of The Big Bang theory, potato guns. But, overall, it’s for the best that we are ending things. It’s not me, it’s you.