Welcome back to another Real People, Fake Stories post! This is Jake. Now, Jake is a cool kid on campus, always surrounded by people, and super likable. A reason behind this is because he is the current President of the United States. Seems fake right? Well believe it, because it’s 100% true. Jake is the youngest person to ever be elected as President, at the age of 19, but he’s also the most qualified, despite him just being in his freshman year of college.
Jake won this vote in the biggest landslide election in history. He really got the attention of the younger generation on America with his infamous catchphrase, “Sup?” You wouldn’t think this would be an important factor in his Presidency, but it was. His policies included the legalization of marijuana everywhere, lowering the drinking age to eighteen, and free college for all. I’m sure you can see why the younger generations all voted for him. Personally, I did.
He’s also recently been linked to the rapper I previously wrote about, named Lil Mill. Nobody was expecting this Penn State love affair to occur, especially not the press, and they’ve been eating this up. At every single press conference their relationship has come up, which is kind of weird seeing as he’s The President and you’d expect them to ask harder hitting questions. Lil Mill may soon become The First Lady, though!
Jake tries to be a normal kid for classes by day, and President by night, now that doesn’t always mean it works perfectly or even in his favor at all. He’s had to leave and go to other countries tons of times, resulting in him skipping class, which is detrimental to his education. Luckily for him, there is an entire team of people set up to go to his classes for him, help him with homework, and even tutors for subjects he struggles in, which aren’t many. Usually, Presidents go for the law degree, but Jake is actually a Pre-Ped major here at Penn State.
Now, Jake may seen spoiled, but he tries extremely hard to balance all of his time and fulfill his education. He loves going to school, surprisingly, and he loves Penn State. He has been quoted on saying that his best memories are from here. The entire Penn State community wants him to remain President for as long as they live. As he’s said many times before, “You can’t hate on at the Philly kid who’s just out here boolin’!” Although, the country is kind of upset over how he pronounces the word “water” but, I guess you have to let some things slide for the President.
President Jake is ready to take on the entire world, and does. He’s moving legislation to let a president serve more than two terms, and it’s seemingly going to pass, so we may be seeing him more than we thought. You can tell he loves his girlfriend, his job, and his school. Having so many passions at such a young age, and being so goal oriented, while also holding the weight of the entire country on your shoulders is no easy task, yet he handles it gracefully. President Jake will continue “boolin'” and “flexin'” on other countries for many years to come.
Love the use of “boolin” at the end of this golden blog post. I really do wish our new President the best with getting his legislation passed. This post really gave me a good laugh because I know that Jake is more qualified than at least one of our past presidents hahaha.
It must be really hard for Jake to balance being a full time student and the president at the same time. I think if there was another election, I would without a doubt vote for him too!