The recent spike in gas prices has spotlighted our country’s heavy dependence on automobiles and gasoline. The failure of the American public to be able to deal with these rising gas prices has also revealed inherent failures in the way American cities and towns are structured. The United States has lagged behind other developed countries in the public transportation industry for decades and continues to do so. This leads to thick traffic, sprawling highways, congested cities, millions of tons of additional carbon dioxide pollution, and a reliance on oil and gasoline. With many now being financially forced to take public transportation, public opinion of a bill to better current public transportation and expand upon it should be at a high. The United States and its cities need to decrease our dependance on cars by revitalizing our public transportation and building towns around people rather than cars.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions. Well there is no title. however, i can gather a sense of what it might be considering its talking about the need for bigger and better public transportation.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions. Yes, definitely. As soon as i read your piece i realized this is an overbearing issues that is now starting to gain some attraction, as it should. I can understand the reasoning behind this piece as well as it connects to other issues like high gas prices.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold? The ending of your thesis where it states America needs to build buildings around people and not cars is really apparent in today’s standards because transportation is costing more and is harder to do so it furthers the claim that this needs to be implemented sooner rather than later. I can also kind of see where your paper is headed as you will most likely talk about the pros and cons of public transportation being enhanced and also if this would provide a long term solution to better our economy.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
As you currently do not have a title, I cannot comment on this, but you have enough to work with in your introduction to make a bold, yet simply effective title.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
Again, I cannot comment on the title as there is none, but your introduction does to a great job at responding and summarizing your reasoning for undertaking this topic. I really enjoyed how you condensed many of your points, which allows for easy set-up for both the thesis and body arguments. You effectively utilized this introduction to summarize the complexities of this issue, which I truly appreciate, and I believe will help model and boost your body arguments.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
Your thesis is clear and concise, matching the style of the introduction. I really loved how you were able to present an issue with many facets of complexity in such a short and sweet manner, without losing any of that formality or blocking out any information. Your thesis makes is clear what to expect in the rest of the piece, which I appreciate.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
– no title yet, but definitely make it obvious that this is about public transportation, that wasn’t clear until I got to the very last sentence.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
– you have a good issue here and you relate it well to current events. My only suggestion would be to maybe add a little more on the lack of good public transportation in the intro so your audience understands the true issue you are addressing.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
– “The United States and its cities need to decrease our dependance on cars by revitalizing our public transportation and building towns around people rather than cars”
– good thesis, definitely shows a clear argument. I would maybe just change the last word to “vehicles” so you don’t say “cars” twice in one sentence.