Month: July 2017

     This week’s poem is titled “Story Part Five: Waking Up.” “Waking Up” ends the story series I have been working on. I decided to end in happy note rather than the original ending I was planning. In the original ending there was only four parts and the suicide was successful. When I started to move away from that ending, I needed some sort of redemption story. My final decision and the idea I used was that of recovery. The ending of “Part Four” hints that the method of suicide was hanging. In this poem the speaker opens to being saved, but paralyzed. Paralysis allowed me to continue the story by describing the recovery process and the speaker’s motivation through that process. To fit in line with the previous poems the speaker was motivated by the person he loves. This motivation follows through till full recovery.

     For this poem I wanted to mix slower and faster tempos. One way I did this was to mix repeating lists for fast segments and the doctor quotes for slower segments. Another method I tried to utilize for pacing was pauses to emphasize a line and break up the poem. I again used repeated phrases to emphasize a point or to draw out the flow. The least stylistic tool I used was recalling elements of previous poems such as references to dancing, the meadow, and the picnic. I included these elements to make the whole story loop on itself.

     Overall I was very happy with the story, as this was not only my first story style poetry series, but also the first spoken word I have shared. At this point, I am not sure what my next project will be. I have been working on several poems that attempt to look at issues in a comical or cartoonish way as a way of juxtaposing the seriousness. The topics I have been considering include drug use, alcoholism, and again looking at mental health. I have always seen spoken word as a way to express both my,own feelings as well as to make a statement about the world as I see it. With that in mind, the method that I share my poetry may change. I believe that I will be focusing on the YouTube channel that I post the videos to as well as attempting to find opportunities to do live readings of my own poetry and others. My concern is that with the coming of college I will allow myself to stop consistently  writing and recording, so hopefully finding a group to join will help hold me to my own goals. Regardless, this will probably be one of the final post to this specific Blog. I hope anybody who enjoyed the poetry continues to follow as I improve (hopefully) and expand my library of poems.

     Spoken word is a medium that can approach a lot of hard topics. It pulls at what we think, what we experience, and, above all, what we feel. That means spoken word can touch the ups and downs of life. Our happiest memories are expressed in our happiest poems just as our saddest memories are found in our saddest poems. This week’s poem, “Story Part Four: The Heart Broke Killer” is not a happy poem despite a more cheerful reading. The poem tackles a very heavy and relevant topic in today’s society and culture. That topic is suicide. Suicide touches everyone in some way or another. More often than not suicide is the product of a variety of sources and that makes it hard to understand why. This poem attempts to rationalize an often irrational situation and explain the speaker’s reasoning without glamorizing his act or making light of suicide. Due to the weight of the topic I decided this poem had no room for humor or light hearted comments. Only the tone of the reading juxtaposes the darkness of self harm and suicide. This poem should make you cry before you ever consider laughing.When being descriptive I attempted to associate negative words with suicide. Descriptions such as “Tied to the wings of putrid death / a chariot of sin” and “sickly snap” do not give a positive connotation.

     When writing this poem I had man concerns. Was this too positive? Who am I to talk about suicide? Am I portraying suicide as too much of a good thing? I thought of these questions with every line. One line stood apart in my concerns. The poem ends saying “and brightest filled me.” That line makes it seem like suicide fills people with brightness, but that line does not reference suicide. It refers to the fifth part of “Story.” This poem was originally the end of the series, but I cannot leave the speaker as nothing more than a lover who could not handle the grief she faced. So I decided a fifth poem to wrap up the story is necessary. The fifth poem will give closure to the speaker’s life.

     Now that the concerns over suicide and future of the plot are handled, I can begin to discuss the poem. The poem uses a repeating refrain pattern with slight variations to differentiate each verse. The refrains are reference to suicide methods while the verses furthers the plot. The actual poem has a very slight rhyme to it, but the whole thing is read in a sing song tone that lends a rhyme like quality. Overall the poem attempts to balance the dark material with a light voice that makes it more approachable. This poem should contrast again the next poem so if you enjoyed definitely come back for the next.

     This weeks poem is titled “Story Part Three: Survivor’s Guilt.” The poem follows the aftermath of the car accident referred to at the end of Part Two. The opening stanza sets a scene as well as establishes the gap between the end of the second poem and the beginning of this one. The next stanza is a refrain. I tried to switch the style of my recurring lines by making it completely repeat with the exception of a slight change in the last line. I also worked to vary my reading of each refrain to show the changes in the speaker’s condition as the one he loves worsens in health. I wanted to add a twinge of grief and guilt stricken madness to the poem without outright saying it more than once. I have always found the voice to be my favorite way to express emotion in poetry, so that’s the approach I stuck with.

     As I used voice inflections I tried to tie in a variety of emotions. In the line “So darling open your eyes” I aimed for a hopeful but sad tone. When the speaker says “I will never leave you” the tone is insistent but desperate. The “But I hate them” is full of rage induced by lost, while “To face my guilt” crashes the speaker back down to a lower anger that hints more at grief than rage. “So I’ll follow you” is probably my favorite line. It holds a sense of permanence and acceptance. The permanence holds a dark undertone, but also a bittersweet one. The speaker has accepted that the one he loves is gone and he can not bring her back to the world. Despite this has not given up on spending eternity with her despite the cost it will have to him. That is because the cost to him is worth eternity.

     There are aspects of the poem that I think could be improved. Sometimes I worry that when I try to express extreme emotions that surround death, I come off as too flat or fake. The sensitivity that of death in particular with tragic situations like car crashes can be hard for some people and my intent is to make the story accessible for any listener. Outside of the concerns over the emotion, this poem also brings out my pronunciation concerns. I re recorded the video for this poem several times because I would slur several words together and the meaning would no longer be clear. With these ideas in mind, I am excited to record the last part of the story next week.