Have you ever been in a situation where you approached someone new and they rejected or ignored you? How did that experience impact you? Did you give up or push forward in order to overcome the initial reaction?
There is a situation that I can recall several years ago when I was in the role of a Learning and Development Trainer at my company. My boss, the VP of Learning and Development had scheduled a meeting with a VP in one of our Corporate Departments. He and I were going to meet with her to identify some training needs for the associates in her department. I was fresh out of a conference where I had just picked up some new techniques for facilitating a needs assessment interview and I was excited to try out some of these “interview” questions with her during our meeting. This was the first time that I was meeting her, and I was equally excited to meet one of the female officers in the company. During our introduction, I didn’t get warmth from her, which put me off a bit. Then, throughout the meeting, it seemed that every so often, when I would ask her questions about her training needs, she seemed to disregard my questions completely, or direct her responses to my boss. Half way through the meeting, after several times of being “shut down”, I just stopped attempting to ask questions and found myself disengaging completely for the remainder of the meeting. I was not only disappointed, but I felt defeated and insignificant after our meeting. I questioned if my involvement was disregarded by her because she didn’t think I was capable, or if she just decided to disregard my involvement because I wasn’t at the same level with respect to my job title. I was also disappointed in myself for shutting down during the meeting. In reflection of that meeting, I think I beat myself up for not taking a stronger, more confident approach.
What has this experience taught you about being persistent that you can leverage in your future as an OD professional? What has this class taught you that could have helped you handle the original situation more positively?
What this experience taught me was not to take things personal and to also give someone the benefit of the doubt. Fast forward 8 years, in the role that I’m in today with the same company, this woman is still in the role of a VP in our Corporate Office, and she and I have a great relationship. This occurred when I allowed myself to drop the “grudge” I had about her, and attempt to get to know her department needs better. When I would reach out to her from time to time and just “check in” to see how her new manager was getting accustomed to his role, or check in to see if she needed any HR metrics to help with her Business Planning, I found that she was extremely receptive, and even grateful for the assistance. After several times where I was proactive with her, I found that the walls had been demolished and she began to then reach out to me with questions or for guidance. Our book references the idea of “demonstrating value”, and I think that this speaks to the experience that I had with this woman. I found that instead of “marketing the whole relationship”, I started simply. I would ‘check in’ with her about a specific item (i.e. “how is your new manager making out?”), and then after several of those ‘check ins’, I believe that the connections that we have are mutual.