My first collegiate winter track season is complete! While it looked different from what I expected due to Covid, I feel I made the most out of it. I came away with two personal bests, a Big Ten conference champion in my event, and an NCAA second-team All American. I’m beyond grateful and appreciative of all the support and extra work that was put into making this season a success. It was more than I could have envisioned, especially coming off of numerous injuries just a few months before.

This past weekend I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas racing at NCAA Indoor Track and Field Nationals. I was just coming off of my Big Ten win and was super stoked to have even qualified. I was ranked #19 among collegians going into NCAAs and had made it to nationals because four people scratched my event and only the top 16 in each event qualify, moving me up to #15.  I went in with the mindset that I would take this as a learning experience and would also use racing against these faster girls as an opportunity to lower the personal best I had just set at B1Gs. My expectations weren’t extremely high but I knew that the possibilities of the outcome were endless and the value of never counting out underdogs (especially since I was an underdog going into B1Gs). I was hopeful, maybe internally a little overly optimistic, and was confident in my abilities. 

This season I raced my event, the 800m, once, then at Big Tens, then at NCAAs. The first three meets of our season were all home meets only against Rutgers and Maryland and then we lost two meets due to Covid. Traveling to Ohio to race at Big Tens was my first real taste of college running. Little did I know that was just the tip of the iceberg. Racing at NCAAs was a whole other beast. It was the first time I had flown in two years, first flight without my parents, first meet without my teammates with me as I was the only girl from Penn State to qualify, first collegiate meet on a track that wasn’t our own or a flat 300m track, and first collegiate meet against schools that weren’t in the Big Ten. There was so much to take in just being there and surrounded by these teams with such a different team culture and energy and these athletes from quite literally all over.

Lightly put, it was a rude awakening. I did improve on my placement from going in by placing 12th and earning an All American second team recognition, but the race itself was like no other. It went out fast, stayed fast, and ended fast. I lined up next to a girl from BYU who has the Olympic trials qualifying standard, a girl from Arkansas whose team went on the next day to win the national team title, two girls from Clemson and a girl from Florida with the Olympic trial mark and other fast girls. I knew what to expect but at the same time it was everything more than I expected. I struggle to find the words to describe what it felt like being there, sort of an odd person out, like a kid in a play park who belongs there but at the same time feels like they should be somewhere else. I was a little fish in a big pond. But it was one of the best and most crucial experiences I had.

It showed me not just what I need to do to reach the next level, but it was crucial exposure as to what I should expect moving forward. It ignited in me a fire to work harder and do everything I can over the next few months to qualify for outdoors, make it to run at the historic Hayward Field in Eugene, Oregon, get on that podium and make first team All American, and do what I can to bring my teammates along with me. You win some you lose some. You win some you learn some. There’s value in getting your ass whooped on a national stage.  It taught me more than winning could have. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.