Let’s Communicate Authentically

We all undergo this process of growing up and inevitably reaching a stonewall in life that is honesty. At this dilemma, there lies a “choice” to conform socially and succumb to conflated understandings of “politeness,” or traverse off the beaten road and ultimately ostracize yourself for a lack of “social awareness.”

Now, whether you or I flirt around these subjects for fear of how we are perceived or for fear of punishment remains a question we must internally reckon with. I recently came across a video of Sheryl Sandberg, who revolutionized my life-long (19 year) struggle of how to embrace authenticity. To give a short rundown of the recommendations:

1. Cleanse this misconstrued perception of “right” or “wrong.”
2. Stop galivanting through life as a passive victim.

I wholeheartedly stand with the sentiments Sandberg expressed, though I’ll admit that I would be prosecuted for committing all these offenses. Beyond achieving self-awareness, there remains an action component that requires just as much, if not more, attention to correct these missteps. The process of unlearning often goes ignored or minimized, but it designates the path to real and permanent change. To reflect inward and evolve, I envision myself struggling immensely with these fake/ conditioned philosophies of social conformity and acceptance to truly unveil my inner beliefs.

Regardless of the choices we make in life, it ironically almost always ends with us believing everything remains out of our control. On the daily, I habitually accuse the world of harboring resentment against me and for hijacking all my opportunities of happiness. But, it’s obviously not the case, and instead, the more realistic course of action requires me to take accountability and admit the faults I contributed that concludes these “horrid” endings. Delineating responsibility in a wide array of circumstances will present you with the opportunity to rewrite the narrative and proactively improve going forward.

Personally, in the past I blindly accepted what authority figures told me, despite what emotions I attributed to people, places, etc. To this day, I hesitate to question the status quo, under the guise and pretense that I’m like everyone else. I assimilate/ fake it and transform into whatever version they want from me, because my warped perception of “politeness” and epitomizing myself as a “good student, daughter, and member of society,” consumes me.

In the end, these false alternatives I created cause nothing but pent up emotions and a stifling reality. In order to truly grow as a person, an important factor depends on our ability to learn our boundaries, beliefs, and whatever we deem important for the conservation of our individuality. Of course these traits only become more vital in workplaces so it’s better now than never to confront these demons and become our true selves. Once we approve of ourselves, it’s the first step for reciprocation from the world.