More on Onion’s “Rules Grammar Change”

Just out of curiousity, I thought I would transcribe the satiric announcement of a mandated grammar change from the U.S. Grammar Secretary to Anglo-Saxon syntax. Below is the text of the announcement.

Rules grammar change. English traditional replaced to be new syntax. The Onion News it’s. Redland Doyle I’m. The U.S. Grammar Secretary that no more will rules English follow announced today. The changes verb, verb clauses and adjectives placing involved frequent with random shuffling or elimination conjunctions and prepositions of.

Grammar Secretary to according, “Is new structure loosely on obscure 800-year old pre-medieval Anglo Saxon syntax based.” This week, beginning America across all dictionaries, highway signs and other books or objects writing upon revised to fit new syntax will be.

And the approximate “unrevised” syntax translation:

Grammar rules change. Traditional English to be replaced [by] new syntax. It’s the Onion news. I’m Redland Doyle. The U.S. Grammar Secretary announced today that rules will follow English no more (??). The changes involved verb, verb clause[s] and adjective placing with random shuffling or elimination of conjunctions and prepositions.

According to [the] Grammar Secretary, “[The] new structure is loosely based on obscure 800-year old pre-medievel Anglo Saxon syntax.” Beginning this week all dictionaries, highway signs and other books or objects written/(writing) upon (??) will be revised to fit new syntax.

Are there any patterns to be observed – not too much. Yoda was much more consistent in his rearranged English. But hey, just a joke it is. It to kill make doesn’t sense.

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