Judge’s Choice
CreativeWriting: Patient Category
© Marian Frances Wolbers, MA
The car
The way home
Two days before Christmas
The night
When a careless boy turns left
Head on. BAM!!!!!
The light
Blasts, explodes in my head
Shutting my eyes, I shake.
The ambulance
EMT asking – what? name
Birthdate what day time – what?
The name
He says is “Phil.” My brain
chains him to grandson Phil.
The ER
Nurse says “I’m Valerie.” I think
Val, my best friend’s sister’s name.
The shakes
Do not stop. It’s hard, says Val
Getting a vein for blood.
The finance lady
Is Christine. “Like Christ. Like
Christmas.” I mouth words to her.
The doctor
Is named Thomas. He
Confesses a train hit his car once.
The train
Named Thomas, from a kids’ book.
An ER doc with a bad-crash story.
The voice
Post-CT scan, “Good news! No breaks.”
And Phil, Val, Christ, & Thomas …
… Head home
(Whenever) and I am brought home by my husband,
At last no longer shaking.
Judge’s Comments:
This poem was able to present a serious incident (car accident) in a tight but somewhat playful form that tells us the “who, what, where” of an ER visit. (Try reading just the lead sentence from each stanza). The clipped sentences speak to the urgency of the situation while the second sentences of each stanza presents us with another moving part or person involved, reserving the last sentences for the author’s response. It has the all-too-realistic feel of those who help us through the “crashes” of life.