© Caroline Eisele, MSI
As medical students, we learn to document patient encounters with the formula of the SOAP note. In this community-authored poem by anonymous members of the student body, we take the formula to the next level, applying it to our daily lives with both sincerity and humor.
Subjective: Medical student feeling stressed out and overworked. Parallel feelings of fear and hope. Confusion.
Objective: Physically fine. Well developed, well nourished. Mascne noted on lower face. BP elevated.
Assessment: Stressed medical student training in the middle of a pandemic without enough training to help.
Plan: Deep breath. Pass M2 year. Don’t get COVID-19. Get the vaccine and fight to not let 2020 happen again.
Subjective: Med school
Objective: Med school
Assessment: Exams
Plan: Meet Expectations
Subjective: Patient presents with CC of blurry vision.
Objective: Patient’s vision normal on exam.
Assessment: Patient presents with blurry vision, which miraculously improved upon rubbing glasses with cloth.
Plan: Encourage patient to clean glasses.
Subjective: “Patient feels like spaghetti.”
Objective: Skin white, slightly moist. Has no other body parts.
Assessment: Patient is indeed spaghetti.
Plan: Patient counseled on decision between vodka sauce and marinara.
Subjective: Medical Professionalism
Objective: Racism and Health Disparities in Medicine
Assessment: Stigma, Discrimination, and Health Disparities Research
Plan: Advocacy and Awareness-Raising
Subjective: I feel lonely.
Objective: The room is cold and quiet; the screen is cold and glaring.
Assessment: A person desiring company.
Plan: Say hi to the janitor.
Subjective: Reggie is an 11-month-old male canine who presents this morning in his bed groggily staring at me.
Objective: Generally tired appearing, yet with urgency in his eyes, heart rate normal, bladder full.
Assessment: All signs point to Reggie needing his morning walk.
Plan: Drag myself out of bed, put Reggie in his harness, attach his leash, go outside.