While I may be more confident than I was in middle school, I still have many moments where I feel uncertain about myself. One of the major factors in helping me recover from this during high school, were the friends I made.

I went to a creative and performing arts school, so everyone was quirky with dyed hair or graphic t-shirts. Being in an environment like that made me feel that I could be myself and everybody would still embrace it. Prior to going there, I had a circle of friends I always hung out with. However, I was afraid that if I was honest about the types of things I liked that they would avoid me, so I put on the mask of someone innocent and held back from sharing my interests. In the end, it did work and they never questioned me but I realized that I wasn’t as close to them as I could have been because of that. As soon as we graduated and went off to different schools, we didn’t talk or meet as much. The fact that there was nothing to link me to them made it even easier for us break away from each other. So I wanted to be upfront with the people I planned to be friends with and immediately exposed myself to them.

One day, after school was over, I went over to our usual meeting place at one of my friend’s locker. As we were waiting for everyone to show up, I started reading a manga by an artist I liked. Our other friend came over and as we were about to leave, I asked them to look at something and showed them the image on the screen. They were surprised, to say the least.

I won’t go into detail about the content, but I’ll say that it was highly sexual. Even to this day, my friend claims that I scarred her and makes a show of telling anyone we know about it. I always look back at the incident and feel like I may have been too direct, but I was honest with them.  As a result, I can happily say that I’m still friends with them and talk to them almost everyday.

However, there was one more person I didn’t mention that was even more of a motivation for me. Between my freshman and sophomore years, I met someone who fulfilled my long time wish of having a friend I could talk and listen to and much much more. They were a part of our friend group as well, but we talked together more often. The relationship I had with them wasn’t something I expected but still treasure even now.

In a world full of smartphones, VR devices and various other technological advances, I don’t think it’s wrong to say we all have a bit of social awkwardness. I used to wear my mom’s jacket to cover my arms and dreaded conversation, and still do occasionally. Well, not wear my mom’s jacket but… Somehow, I managed to bare my arms and show the most vulnerable part of me to people I could just barely call friends at the time. I don’t advise being as direct as me, but try starting a conversation with someone you’re interested in knowing and, in the process, reveal a part of yourself you don’t usually show others. Maybe a shoulder, thigh or two. I can guarantee you’ll be met with promising results.