In my first post, I talked about the importance of revealing yourself to new people. Though my personal experience was  more luck than anything, to expose yourself to people comfortably, confidence is definitely a main factor.

I’m sure everyone has at one point or another seen someone they couldn’t take their eyes off of. The way they walk, what they wear, they even seem to own the air around them. That sense of individuality and confidence is a comfort I aim for. I’ve come across people that seems to make even the most questionable things work.

Observing other people makes this seem hard, a far cry from how quirky we seem to ourselves. However, the way to do this is something easily tangible. Think of all the things you like doing. Sports, watching sports, drinking coffee, eating food. These are things that can be done without much thought. Who sees or says anything about it doesn’t really matter. Comforts like these are embraced openly, without shame. However, obtaining confidence also means accepting the unorthodox or unusual aspects about yourself or activities you do as well.

Some personal activities I do without much thought of others is look at images of plus-size models, nude art, and lounge in underwear. Now this isn’t something I’d just do wherever or say to whoever. I know the time and place to mention these things, but I’m not embarrassed about it. What I do know is that it doesn’t take much to make someone uncomfortable. Admittedly, I’m also apprehensive about what it is okay to share with another person. Because of this, instead of being confident in my individuality I end up hiding my habits as if I’m ashamed of them.

While part of the solution is more of a self-solved issue, the other half that has to do with the social aspect is more difficult to determine. When other people are involved, you have to consider their reaction, your relationship with them, the best time to mention it and where to do it. While this may sound complicated, the point is to not overthink it. Doing so could easily lead to not wanting to mention it in the first place, and I say this from experience.

Confidence comes from experience, and experience comes trial and error.

Physical confidence, while difficult to achieve, is easy to attain once a person accepts the physical things about themselves. Mental confidence, however, comes with accepting yourself as an individual and not by set conventions. The definition of you is decided by you. Even the most put together people have a few layers underneath that they wouldn’t show anyone. When you overcome that fear of exposure and judgment is when you reach true confidence.