Concussions, Lessons and Duke
I mentioned two weeks ago that I want this blog to be a place where I can be open and honest about the ups and downs of being a student athlete. At that time I shared that, unlike the movies, being an athlete in real life means that some days, practices or competitions are going to end poorly. While I work hard to remember that it is the bad times that help the triumphant times feel even sweeter, sometimes the situation I’m in stinks so bad that it fogs my brain. This past week I was presented with one of those ‘stinks so bad’ situations when I was diagnosed with a concussion deeming me unable to travel or practice for at least a week.
I received the concussion on the Sunday that I participated in the team event at the World Cup in Baltimore. One of the Belarusian women I fenced ‘guard-punched’ me 5 times in the mask over the course of our bout. The trainers at the event ran the concussion protocol on me after the incident and everything appeared to be fine, which is why I continued to fence for the rest of the day. After returning to school, however, I noticed that I had a continuous, six out of ten on the pain scale, headache. I also felt pressure in my head, indoor lights were too bright and even normal sounds were excruciatingly loud. With those symptoms, I wasn’t surprised when my team trainer told me I had a concussion. But that didn’t make the news any easier to process.
As a high level athlete, I am accustomed to practicing, working out and training every single day. No, I don’t love every minute of it in the moment, but I realized that I miss it severely when I am unable to partake. Since this was my first concussion, and it was very mild, my trainer figured it would only take a week or two before I could return to full activity. I can’t remember the last time I’ve spent two whole weeks doing so little activity. One of the nights I woke up at 3AM with a burning desire to go for a run. My body is used to constant motion, so rest was strange.
As difficult as it was, I forced myself to rest for two weeks. No running. No practice. No conditioning. I couldn’t even speed walk when I found myself running a smidge late to class. I was being extra conscientious because if I did anything to delay my recovery, I wouldn’t be able to travel to our upcoming meet at Duke. I have been anticipating that meet since I originally saw it on the schedule, and I was crushed at the prospect of being forced to stay home.
Learning how to deal with the emotions accompanying an injury was completely new for me. Yes, I’ve had injuries before – a torn quad, sprained ankle, and over-extended back muscles, for example – but I had never had to miss an important competition for any of them. I was full of sadness, anger, and self-pity that I wasn’t sure how to deal with. In order to cope, I thought of my team. I realized that I would be no good to them if I rushed my recovery, fenced at the Duke meet and somehow got another concussion. If I wanted to be my best for them, I’d have to let myself rest, no matter how long it took.
Quite possibly the best part about being a student athlete in real life, is when your situation plays out like it would in a sports movie. I had come to terms with the fact that I probably wouldn’t be able to travel, but then, as quickly as they came, my symptoms disappeared. No more headache. I could suddenly focus, read and write and lights no longer felt like daggers on my eyeballs. And wouldn’t you know, all of this happened the very day it needed to, allowing me enough symptom free days to be cleared to travel to Duke.
The team leaves for Durham, North Carolina on Friday morning at 8AM, and I will be with them. I am so grateful that my concussion subsided in time for me to go on the trip and even more so for the lessons that I learned over my two weeks off. The girls’ team and I will be fencing on Sunday (2/11). At this meet will be facing off against Notre Dame, UNC, Duke, Brandeis, Air Force and Temple. Until next week!