Recently I am working on a petition demanding a name change of a student council. In this post, I am not going to go on the detail of the petition (I will put the link at the end if anyone is interested in it). Instead, I want to share how the negotiation process as well as the petition experience makes me realize how much I have grown in these four years.
Before my partners and I started this petition, it was just me noticing this issue. I had negotiated with the administrative and the student representative. However, in order to help them really understand the seriousness of this issue and the number of people concern about this issue, my partners and I decided to make a petition. It started from one individual, but now there are over 70 people signed for the petition (still working on more). I really appreciated everyone who supports our communities.
I regard as a positive conversation with the administrative. I consider this as an opportunity to help the university understand the diversity of the international community at Penn State. I think it is our responsibility to explain our situation to other people. I would like to share some principles that I found useful to build a constructive conflict, which both side could learn and gain something. First, Hard on the Problem, Soft on the People. In this case, I have been always firm on my argument, but I remove my judgement on other people. Also, when I understand that the other people do not have the responsibility to solve my problem, my mindset changes. What I am saying is that, it is not very helpful to get stuck on the anger at people who refuse to help you. I think what I should do is to invite others into the conversations and help them understand our pain, instead of blaming on their lack of knowledge on this issue. Besides, people have different rationales to make decisions and sometimes it is not only because of innocence. Which I found that it is really helpful to ask what others think and take their concern into consideration.
Secondly, Clarifying the issue is much more important than prove yourself right. In a conflict, the goal is really easy to be misled by the emotions, interpersonal relationships, face saving problem… However, it is really important for a negotiator to know what is the most important goal right now. I always tell myself, it is not about me. I do not care about how others think of me, but I care about if other interpret the situation correctly. With this mindset, I was able to explain the issue calmly to others.
Finally, Show your appreciation to everyone involved. Again, it is other’s choice to decide whether they want to put efforts on an issue, and nobody has the obligation to take actions on solving “my” problem (although this problem is a public issue, but you know what I mean). Therefore, I really appreciated everyone who is willing to take time to talk about the problem I addressed. It is also really important to verbalize your appreciation to others.
The petition is still continuing. If anyone is interested in this issue, please take a moment to read it. And if you would like to support us, please sign the petition. Thank you.
https://forms.gle/to4ZbGByUqSYpvBr9
Hi Mini!
I’ve already signed your petition–I know it’s an important issue to you and, as someone who was really interested in spending some time in Taiwan post-graduation, I knew it was something that resonated with me once you told me about it–but it was also really interesting to read about your petition strategy! I think your points about making the petition greater than the people involved, whether it’s you or the people perpetuating the problem, are incredibly important. Making the issue personal, regardless of how passionate both sides are about the problem, is how things start to escalate. Additionally, lack of an organized mission and goal can have the same effect. Take the Yellow vests movement in France for example–without proper leadership and organization things have descended into anarchy and violence. I have no doubts your petition, and the vast majority of petitions, would not end up like that, but I still think its important to maintain that organized approach with clear goals addressing the issue and not the people involved.
Thanks for sharing!