Hey guys! It’s October 31st, and you know what that means…

Halloween is one of my absolute favorite holidays, and I always go all out. I’ve gone trick or treating every year since I could walk. I the horde of candy and seeing all the kids dressed up. I even dress up my dog. It’s bad. But I mean, can you blame me?! There’s something magical about dressing up and the rush of adrenaline you feel every time you get a trick instead of a treat.

But one year I got one trick that was not so enjoyable. After a long night of getting candy we were way too old for, my friends and I decided to watch some scary movies. I had actually never seen a scary movie before (I was a freshman, whatever leave me alone!)but I told my friend’s I was willing to try anything as long as it didn’t have rape in it.

I mean, that’s totally understandable right? Who wants to see rape? No one wants to see rape. Except maybe rapists, but that’s gross and extremely controversial so ima shy away from that one.

So anyway, my friends all agree that that’s not a problem, and proceed to show me The Hills Have Eyes. Keep in mind that each and every one of them has seen this horriffic movie before, and if you have as well you know why it freaks me out so much.

Ok. So basically in the beginning it’s not that scary, there’s some mutants in the middle of the desert, they’re super gross and follow the family everywhere, whatever. But then, there’s a scene where the two of the mutants trap a woman and her baby in a burning mobile home. This disgusting mutant with deformed skin and snaggled teeth proceeds to rape the teenage girl, and yelp in pleasure. When I say yelp, I mean YELP. It is the creepiest, most awkward thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

In fact, my roommate is about to go out and i’m already freaking out. I can clearly picture his horrifying face as he climaxes and the other creature watches. But oh no, it doesn’t stop there. Once he has his way with the teenager, he then proceeds to threaten to kill her sister’s baby unless the mother allows him to lick her boob. Do I understand this at all? No. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR IT. IT WAS CREEPY AND STUPID AND AGH.

So my friends all get a good laugh out of me absolutely freaking out during the whole scene, at first in total confusion and then in random spasm of screaming and crying, begging them to turn it off. Big surprise, they wouldn’t.  Hence, here’s an accurate depiction of my reaction:

But as soon as they can all breathe again, they turned off the movie and reassured me the next one wouldn’t have raped in it, in fact it wasn’t even a horror film.

Guess what movie it was?

Law Abiding Citizen.

Literally Why. 

If you haven’t seen this movie, basically in the opening scene these guys break into this guys house tie him up, and make him watch as they rape and murder his wife and daughter.

So yeah, usually this is the part where I get all deep. But really all I have to say this week is that you should choose your friends wisely. And by wisely make sure their actually nice people and don’t want to cause you pain and misery and nightmares that last for years.

But thanks guys.

Thanks.

REALLY

P.S: If you havent seen the Hill’s have eyes, look up some pictures so you can see just how disgusting the whole thing is.