Allport (1985) conceptualizes social cognition as, “the process of thinking about ourselves and other people to understand and explain how the thoughts, feelings, and behavior of individuals are influenced by the actual, imagined, or implied presence of others.” Interpersonal magnetism is fueled by a strong desire for tête-à-tête. Anticipation of favorable experiences sparks excitement while enduring relations with your significant other. All of a sudden, partner infidelity may come on as a surprise during your relationship. In other words, deep feelings for your companion may stimulate a strong emotional response that many of us are familiar with. Jealousy can be experienced at different intensities depending on the situation. In fact, desirous feelings could promote relationship quality. For instance, one of the partners may respond to jealousy as being a direct threat to the relationship in which they value their relationship enough to protect it. Except that is not always the case in most relationships affected by jealous emotions. Many similar instances are influenced by misunderstanding a situation or failing to emphasize the importance of communication between partners.
Most relationships experience three distinct types of jealousy including – reactive, anxious, and possessive (Pfeiffer & Wong, 2007). These forms are distinguished between whether they reside with emotional, cognitive, or behavioral attributions. John Wiley (2007) explored relations between different types of jealousy, as well as self and partner perceptions of relationship quality. He defined Reactive Jealousy as, “the degree to which individuals experience negative emotions, such as anger and upset, when their mate is or has been emotionally or sexually unfaithful (Wiley, J., 2007).” Furthermore, Anxious Jealousy is when a partner creates false perceptions and images in their head in which they begin feeling distrustful or worried. Finally, Possessive Jealousy involves an individual taking excessive measures in order to prevent their partner from socializing with anyone of the opposite sex, and forbidding them to socialize with others. According to Buunk’s typology, reactive jealousy relies on emotional aspects, anxious jealousy consists of cognitive elements, and possessive jealousy is attributed to behavioral components (Buunk & Dijkstra, 2006). Relatively, Andersen et al. (1995) discovered that cognitive jealousy negatively impacts relational satisfaction. Whereas, Pfeiffer and Wong (1989) specified emotional jealousy to be positively associated to love. Determining relationship quality should always take into consideration both partners’ feelings toward how they feel, and how their partner feels, engaging in their interpersonal connection.
Relationship quality is determined by interaction between two partners. Communication between each other is a key component for maintaining an open and sound relationship. Many people are too invested in wanting to just express how they perceive a situation, and will disregard how their partner feels. In a relationship, one of the best things I have learned is that there are always three sides to a story – their side, your side, and the real side. Also, do not try to discuss a tense topic unless you are both rational enough to respectfully listen to each other. Relatively, jealousy affects the content of the communication (what they communicate), as well as the type of communication they engage in (how they communicate) (Wiley, J., 2007).
High levels of intimacy and affection is associated with how well you and your partner respects the others’ feelings, understand each other, refrain from negative sources of jealousy, and be a companion to your significant other. Do not try to compete or evoke feelings of jealousy in your partner to cover your own insecurities. Take into account that you are your partner are a team and are in this together. If you both want to keep your commitment, then refrain from problematic experiences, and rather enhance your relationship quality.
Do you ever experience jealousy in your relationship? What are some ways that you strive to improve the quality of your relationship? If you are not in a relationship, what are some things you would want to try for relationship satisfaction?
Thanks for reading!
Barelds, D. P. H., Barelds-Dijkstra, P. (2007). Relations between different types of jealousy and self and partner perceptions of relationship quality. Clinical Psychology and Psychopharmacology. Retrieved April 8, 2017 from
Tags: action-directed process, anxious, communication, companion, emotional response, infidelity, jealousy, love, possessive, reactive, relationship quality, relationships, social cognition, social cognitive, trust
I enjoyed reading your post regarding jealousy in relationships. What usually sets jealousy of in any relationship is attraction. I believe at some point anyone who is intimately involved with another person at some point in their relationship they will show some signs of jealousy. However, the question is that, if jealousy is really a negative thing in a relationship. I believe that even though jealousy can lead to issues and problems in a relationship, it can also show that we care about that person. However, that can be disputed but from my own past individual experiences, if I did not act jealous I was confronted by my girlfriend that I don’t care about our relationship simply because I did not show that I am jealous.
According to Allport (1985) social cognition is a major idea in social psychology attempting to understand how our thoughts, personal feelings and behavior of individuals are all influenced by the actual, imagined and or implied presence of others (Nelson A., 2017). As you have mentioned possessive jealousy is a problem and in my opinion very disturbing and dangerous. One thing that a positive healthy relationship is based on is trust. I believe if a couple love each other and can communicate openly without any fear of upsetting their significant other, jealousy would almost be nonexistent.
We tend to react to other actions, and in any relationship, we tend to treat the other person that we are having a relationship with the same exact way as they treat us. This relationship can be a personal one or even professional. In addition to jealousy in personal and intimate relationships, there are professional jealousy as well. One example of a professional jealousy would be a coworker being jealous of his or her associate being promoted, even though they know that the promotion was well earned and deserved. I guess jealousy is a basic human emotion and it was always existing in our relationships with others. However, we need to understand the causes of jealousy. I believe communication, respect and trust amongst two individuals, whether it being personal or professional can minimize the feelings of jealousy.
References
Nelson, A. (2017). Lesson 12. Applied social psychology: Relationships / Everyday life. Presented on the PSYCH 424 course content site lecture at the Pennsylvania State University.