Sexism does not always have to be hostile in order to have a detrimental effect. As explained by Peter Glick and Susan Fiske sexism refers to any bias against an individual or a group of individuals based on their sex. They proposed that sexism is expressed in three different ways: hostile sexism, benevolent sexism and ambivalent sexism.
Hostile sexism is the easiest to identify, benevolent and ambivalent sexism are harder to notice but can be equally as damaging to a woman’s sense of self worth. I will now share with you an experience I had that can serve as an example for benevolent sexism.
Tired of working in retail I had decided to look for a new job that was more in line with what I wanted to do with my life. I needed a part time position as I was going to school full time and I decided to apply for a front desk/admin position working for a small team of psychologists who specialized in mood disorders. I submitted my resume and was ecstatic when I received a call back for an interview. I had previous office/ admin experience, I was a highly motivated student pursuing a degree in psychology, and I have always had a strong work ethic resulting in my also having good work references. I felt very confident during my interview and afterwards in my excitement I shared my news with friends and family. I received good advice and words of encouragement from most but I was very surprised when not just one, but rather three different men whom I consider myself to be close to responded by telling me not to worry because I was pretty and sweet and they would definitely want me to be their front office representative. I laughed and brushed their comments off but internally I felt annoyed and surprised. I do not think that my grandfather nor my two male friends meant to devalue me with their comments but that is what they did. Instead of commenting on my intelligence, work ethic, experience, or my communication skills they instead complimented me on my appearance and on my perceived disposition. Yes I can be a very sweet person but that is by choice and it is definitely not what I consider to be my defining personality trait. What these men did, likely unintentionally, was display towards me an attitude of benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism is sexism that involves the attribution of typically positive traits or qualities, that might sound positive, but which are derived from stereotypes that see women in limited ways and often stem from a male-centered perspective (Schneider 2012). Stereotypes are beliefs about the characteristics, attributes, and behaviors of members of certain groups (Schneider 2012). Although their comments might not have been intended as negative or hostile, they were nonetheless sexist as it emphasized traditional stereotypic notions of women and trivialized the fact that competence had gotten me that far in the interview process rather than my beauty or “sweetness.” I ended up not getting the job but eventually did find a job in the psychology field accomplishing my goal of getting my foot in the door of my future career. But I believe the reason for my not getting the job had more to do with my qualifications and less to do with how I look.
I think an interesting effect this experience had on me is that it made me temporarily uncomfortable with my “sweetness” and with my physical body. It made me think how other people valued me. If they just saw me as a woman in a pleasing body or if they saw me as an intelligent motivated human being with a lot to offer. It made me think about how we often tell little girls how pretty they are and how we tend to tell little boys things like “your so smart and strong.” Benevolent sexism, although less harsh and threatening in presentation than hostile sexism, is equally as damaging to women as it can negatively impact a woman’s internal thought process, affecting her beliefs in her own competency and subsequently stunting her ability to perform well and rise above.
References
Schneider, F.W., Gruman, J.A., Coutts, L.M. (2012). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (2nd ed). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
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