Avoided Encounters
Have you ever had to speak in front of people or been at gatherings (unfamiliar ones and sometimes not) and felt nervous, with your palms sweating, like there was a giant weight on your chest or like there was a giant rock in your stomach? Social anxiety is also referred to as “social phobia” and it’s described as a type of distress that involves actions like having a fear of talking to other people (like strangers), getting tense and are afraid of embarrassing one’s self in front of friends/strangers, blushing, avoidant of things that involve being social, feeling uncomfortable when meeting someone new, etc. (Gruman, Schneider, Coutts, 2016). A lot of individuals tend to get into mindsets sometimes where they wonder what the people around them think of them, if they’re saying or doing something embarrassing, feel some kind of social pressure, etc. Then there are individuals who struggle with those feelings in a far more intense way to the point that it messes with them in different aspects of themselves like mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Individuals with social anxiety become bothered and uncomfortable in social settings. This can cause individuals to become awkward or feel out of place. The anxiety could be so bad that the individual might decide to just avoid going to social events or steer away from putting themselves in positions that would make them feel that social anxiety. They wouldn’t want to draw attention to themselves or do/say something that would risk the people around them thinking of them differently or in a negative manner. It might seem like it’s not a big deal to maybe someone who is outgoing but in reality, there are people who struggle with just simple interactions with other people. According to the Social Anxiety Association, “Social Anxiety Disorder (social phobia) is the third largest mental health care problem in the world today” (Richards, 2020). It’s interesting because an individual with social anxiety has the desire to be a part of interactions that are social and create friendships with other people but that fear and anxiety holds them back from being able to do so (Richards, 2020).
I struggle with social anxiety and sometimes it’s difficult to do even the simplest of things without the anxiety getting in the way of living. There are instances where I’ve panicked over calling a pizza place to order pizza. I’d have to write it down and repeat it to myself over and over until I felt like I could do it. Sometimes I couldn’t even go as far as making the call. It sounds stupid to fear speaking to someone that I don’t know, on the phone just to give them my food order and hang up. It makes me feel embarrassed when I think about it because it’s a basic task that anyone should be able to do. Public speaking in general scares the living daylights out of me. I’ve had public speaking classes where I’ve had to walk out and take a breather even though nothing was going on, because just being in that environment is an intense experience. Class project presentations have always been tough for me to do because I worry so much. Once I get to know someone/people and I feel comfortable with them, I’m outgoing and I have no problem with being weird or talking. This falls into the part stated above of having the desire to be socially interactive, but being prevented because of the anxiety. People have said to me, “What’s the big deal? It’s just talking. You do it every day.” but for me, there’s so much more to it that just can’t be explained into words.
Talking to authority figures creates high distress. Just talking to a regular person can cause a lot of social anxiety for me and I can get so nervous that I feel like I’m going to throw up, with my heart racing so fast. There are sleepless nights over social events that I’m supposed to attend but it hasn’t even happened yet. If I have to call someone, I get anxious because I feel like I’m being a bother to them, even though that’s not the case. I’ve had situations where I haven’t voiced my opinion or have just avoided situations because I’m afraid of being judged or doing something embarrassing that’ll cause criticism or bullying (which I had already had to deal with during a majority of grade school from some peers). There are times where I’ve been asked a question and I’ve blanked out in my head completely and suddenly can’t seem to remember anything at all.
I’ve been teased for being anxious by people I know because I’ve been a singer since I was a very small child and have been singing on stages since then, so people don’t understand why I can get up in front of people and sing but I struggle so hard with speaking in front of people. I question it sometimes myself as well, especially when I get the anxiety because it’s frustrating being unable to just talk to people. People don’t understand though that I do get stage fright and feel like I’m going to have an anxiety attack just the same when I go on stage. For some reason though, once the music plays, I start singing, and I get into the zone, it’s as if that anxiety wasn’t ever there. In doing what I love and living out my passion in life, that fear becomes minimal for even just that short period of time. Unfortunately this isn’t the case all the time though because there are times where the anxiety is so bad that I find my voice shaking badly and me analyzing every little thing I’m doing to focus on making sure that I don’t do anything to embarrass myself like forget the words or trip and fall in which everyone will laugh or think of me differently.
All people deal with social anxiety differently and so treatments may vary. There are anxiety medications that can be taken but studies have shown that therapy is also important to help with benefitting the individual long-term because it can help with modifying neural pathways of the brain in a more sufficient way (Richards, 2020). There are people who take the medications and then there are others that avoid the medications and invest in behavioral and cognitive therapy. Taking medication alone without the therapy as well doesn’t show signs of benefits because medicines are just a temporary solution to the issue while therapy looks for more permanent solutions (Richards, 2020). Social anxiety is considered to be toward the top of the list of disorders in the DSM-5 and it’s important that more awareness be brought to it (Richards, 2020).
Works Cited:
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2016). Applied social psychology : Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. Retrieved from https://ebookcentral.proquest.com
What is Social Anxiety Disorder? Symptoms, Treatment, Prevalence, Medications, Insight, Prognosis. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://socialphobia.org/social-anxiety-disorder-definition-symptoms-treatment-therapy-medications-insight-prognosis