When I was a little girl I used to want to be a writer. I often told that to my musician father who would reply that I was destined to be a singer who wrote her own songs. I was spunky and sassy and incredibly independent as a child, and my greatest dream was to have a fulfilling career. Flash to me now, and I am a 33 year old mom of two who is just now getting my career goals in order. I am not saying that I don’t love the choices that I have made in my life, but what I am saying is somewhere along my journey I completed changed course. Somewhere along my journey, being a wife and mother became my only goal.
Sexism is when a person is treated differently based on their sex (Gruman, Schneider & Coutts, 2017). There are many areas of sexism all throughout our lives. How about when a woman swears that she got out of a speeding ticket by flirting with a cop. Do cops really give women more of a break on the road than men? If they did, that would be sexist. Typically when we think of sexism we think of what is referred to as hostile sexism. Hostile sexism is when negative attitudes towards women are expressed (Gruman et. al., 2017). However, there is another type of sexism that often goes undetected and that is benevolent sexism.
Benevolent sexism is when positive yet stereotypical views of women are expressed that reaffirm their weaker position in a male dominant world (Hamilton & DeHart, 2020). Though benevolent sexism is perceived to be less harmful than hostile sexism, research has shown that women respond similarly to both forms (Hamilton & DeHart, 2020). In a study done on college women, women who received a hostile or benevolent sexism treatment in the lab went on to drink more that night than women who did not (Hamilton & DeHart, 2020). This is indicative that benevolent sexism can be just as harmful as hostile sexism (Hamilton & DeHart, 2020).Taking a look into the hidden influence of benevolent sexism on women is important because it can have a detrimental affect on their health (Hamilton & DeHart, 2020).
Benevolent sexism lies undetected in society because it is seemingly kind. Gruman et. al. notes that a simple business conversation in which a male coworker comments on a female executive’s outfit is benevolent sexism because it places an emphasis on the traditional stereotype that women should be seen for their beauty and not their brains (2017). Sometimes when I take a look at my own life, I am not sure how my morals and traditions changed so much over the course of my ten developmental years through adolescence. Was there a buildup of benevolent sexism that made me feel as though being a mother was my only option in life? It’s hard to say. Either way, I am happy to be where I am, but learning about benevolent sexism really opened my eyes to the roles we follow as a society. Maybe it’s time those roles change.
References
Gruman, J.A.,Schneider, F.W., & Coutts, L.A. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Hamilton, H. R., & DeHart, T. (2020). Cheers to equality! both hostile and benevolent sexism predict increases in college women’s alcohol consumption. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/10.1007/s11199-020-01140-2
I would not say that benevolent sexism goes undetected. I would say that it is tolerated. Whether a woman is in the workplace or at home as a housewife, men have their beliefs as to what a woman is and should do. The man is the provider and the woman is dependant upon him. (Fiske, et al., 2009) In today’s society the roles have turned a bit. It is not uncommon to see women as providers and men staying at home as caretakers and homemakers. In this case, benevolent sexism is then reversed. Moreover, benevolent sexism is not necessarliy a negative action but a give and take. The male is the earner and therefore dominant in his role and the woman is the caretaker and therefore dominant in her role. When it comes to intamacy, both parites come together as equals.
Chen, Z., Fiske, S. T., & Lee, T. L. (2009). Ambivalent Sexism and Power-Related Gender-role Ideology in Marriage. Sex roles, 60(11-12), 765–778. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-009-9585-9