Growing up our parents/caretakers are meant to nourish and nurture our growth. Whether this happens of course is very dependent on the environment we are in and the resources we have access to. When we are children, our parents have the ability to control our environment, thereby influencing the experiences we can have. Even though we cannot change the situations we are born into, we can change how we move forward once we develop our own sense of self.
During infancy, there are three attachment patterns which Mary Ainsworth identified that may develop including secure attachment, anxious/ambivalent insecure attachment, and avoidant insecure attachment (Gruman, Schneider & Coutts, 2016) . In addition, Bartholomew identified four different adult attachment styles that can develop later on including secure, preoccupied, fearful, and dismissing (Gruman et al., 2016). The attachment style you develop as a child is not guaranteed to be the same attachment style you stick to as an adult, this depends on the experiences which shape your perception and perspective. A meta-analysis of attachment stability found that after 15 years there were no relationship between attachment styles from childhood to adulthood (Gruman et al., 2016).
It is easier said than done but it’s all about finding the right balance between everything in your own life, whatever that means for you. We are all gifted with a set of skills that make us unique. These gifts inherently come with their own battles, and in order for us to understand ourselves better, we need to face the obstacles on our individual path. In this day and age, people value success more than they value health and well-being, not everyone but just in general. When you do this it’s easy to get lost in the chaos of it all. For example, when you keep striving for success you may start to neglect yourself. In the long-term, this can lead to some kind of illness which requires a cure or treatment, even though it could have been prevented.
Wherever you are in life, the things which you have learned and have gone through do not define who you are, but rather make up your current perception of the situation. With that said, it’s never too late to make a different decision for yourself that will ultimately lead to a different outcome and your happiness.
References:
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2016). Applied social psychology : Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com