When we are born, we become a part of a family and that family can be natural or adoptive. This is the first group that we become associated with and learn the “norms” as we grow. During this time trust is built and we trust our family members to have our best interest at heart, amongst other things. This trust is built through many different actions and over time. Once we are old enough to navigate outside and play with our friends, we repeat a similar cycle of building trust with those friends.
As we continue moving through life and into young adulthood, some of those friendships we had as kids are still alive and have trust, experience , history and much more attached to them. However, some people don’t have those friendships and have the to rebuild friendships time and time again with other people as they move housing developments, schools or cities and the stability factor is not as steady. I didn’t understand how important it is to have those relationships with family and friends as well as, the importance of stability. Without them a person’s identity is all over the place, this chapter made me think back on a neighborhood boy that my family knew of when I was younger.
He was about 17 when he was charged as an adult and sentenced to 15 years in prison for multiple crimes that he committed within the matter of minutes. I wondered why and what made him choose to behave in that manner and associate himself with people who were known to commit crimes. It came down too many things such as, his family history which wasn’t a stable household, or the fact that he did not have both of his parents within that household and the fact that his mother had many other children to look after. So, he sometimes lived his mother, grandmother or aunt but never long enough to fully become comfortable and call either place home. So, when he was old enough and believed that other men like him, cared for him more than his natural family, it was easier for him to form bonds with them because they cared for him during the times when his family didn’t. But I still wondered how did he become convinced that the crime he was going to commit was worth losing his freedom over. Cohesion is “a dynamic process which is reflected in the tendency for a group to stick together and remain united in the pursuit of its instrumental objectives and/or for the satisfaction of member affective needs” (Gruman et al., 2017). I realized that out of the many reasons he chose to participate in those activities, one was due to him believing that he had to stick with the group of people who helped him get by in life when his family chose not to.
Although, this is one of many reasons why he may have chose to participate in those crimes but it is a big factor that played into his mind and allowed him to believe that he owe the group something.
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. SAGE.