Think about the communities you belong to – including online communities. You probably have certain groups you like to interact with that share your common interests. Maybe these groups offer something to you that improves your life, even if it’s just companionship. You might even have communities within your work center in which you build relationships. Have you ever considered how you became a part of these communities?
Your membership in certain communities is most likely due to the benefits or “rewards” you get from being part of the community. It could be services, support, or even friendship. But more often than not, you belong to a community because it gives you something back. If that’s the case, you’ve fallen into the social exchange trap.
The social exchange theory tells us that people calculate cost versus reward when anticipating something they want to do (Gruman, Schneider, & Coutts, 2017). If you feel that you’re losing more than you’re gaining, you’re probably going to stay away from the situation. It’s human nature to wants rewards for everything we do, so why would play in a losing game?
This doesn’t just happen with personal communities. The social exchange theory works in many aspects. It occurs in friendships, relationships, families, careers, and businesses. When you start to feel like you’re not reaping benefits and it’s becoming too costly, you’re probably going to leave that community or situation and find something else. While life shouldn’t solely be based around rewards, it’s hard to be selfless.
Knowing what you know now about social exchange theory, I encourage you to look back at certain aspects of your life and see where it has come into play. Have you ended relationships or cut ties because they no longer felt rewarding? Or have you ever pushed through a situation and remained selfless for the benefit of someone else? It’s a double-edged sword because someone will always benefit, but hopefully everyone feels rewarded.
Reference:
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., and Coutts, L. M. (Eds.) (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (3rd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
Tags: cost versus reward, selflessness, social exchange theory
I think its super interesting that you point out that there are certain rewards to being involved in a certain type of community as part of the social exchange theory (Gruman, 2016). I’m wondering if the anticipated cost and reward of involvement differs in online versus face-to-face communities. I would like that there would be more rewards to face-to-face communities because of more social and potential for emotion connection.
Gruman, Jamie A., et al. Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. SAGE, 2017.
The social exchange theory really does relate to me, for I have cut ties because of benefits and costs. The reason of why I transferred college is basically that. Even though I had multiple factors that made me decide on my decision, at the end of the day all of these reasons goes back to not finding any rational benefit in the decision of staying. Just like the textbook states, I was calculating the anticipated psychological rewards and costs of various actions, and behaved based on the personal calculations (Gruman et al. 336).
And for the reasons of cutting ties, I think there is also the part of the loss of a sense of community. In my decision, I didn’t feel that my voice doesn’t influence the community, there was nothing in my previous school that solely could fulfill my needs, and I had no emotional connection as soon as I decided to leave. It was just the membership to the school and the connections from clubs that I had left, which I feel that the membership itself doesn’t confirm the sense of community. Being rational may cause a loss of a sense of community, for when thinking deeply about the options, you see that sometimes it’s only emotional reasons that is tied to your actions of staying in a community.
The concept of rewards in a community/relationship is certainly a double edged sword. Being rational can be a selfish act, and a selfless act can be irrational as the opposite point. I think it is up to the individual in what the right answer is, as long as they don’t regret that action.
Reference:
Gruman, Jamie A., et al. Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. SAGE, 2017.