Adults who are a part of sexually marginalized groups (individuals whose sexual preferences are outside of the mainstream) find connection via online communities. For example furries, individuals who like dressing up as animals, partake in online communities in addition to the face-to-fact connection they get when attending their annual Furry convention, which takes place in Pittsburgh. When I was a teenager catching the bus to high school, I always wondered why a bunch of adults were walking around in animal costumes until one day a classmate jokingly explained that they were “furries”. Quite a few Google searches later, I had my first introduction to alternative sexualities and the communities they need to feel the acceptance that most people receive regularly.
Online communities for sexually marginalized groups create a sense of belonging for people in whose real world communities do not have a lot of individuals with similar unique interests. In most cases, online communities cannot replace the real world, face-to-face connection needed by most people, but if you are a member of a marginalized community that is very rare, it can be hard to find the acceptance one needs to feel fully whole and connected, especially if there’s a constant need to hide your identity.
Being members of stigmatized groups is incredibly isolating and lonely. Per Goffman’s research “a stigmatizing characteristic would often function as a master status, that is , a dominant prism through which other people judge the individual, discarding or ignoring other statuses or roles the individual might have.(Gruman et all, 2016)” The fear of being stigmatized in ones face-to-face community means that like social exchange theory posits, individuals from marginalized sexual groups can easily calculate the costs of publicly sharing their fetishes with the world and often choose to hide them within their community to avoid the negative reactions of, and further isolation from, their face-to-face community.
One element I’m curious about, is the rate at which people find long term relationship partners through these groups. It’s logical that those with very specific sexual interests find a partner who is also willing to engage in those activities, so the likelihood of finding a partner, thus minimizing loneliness and isolation, must be quite high.
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (2016). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (3rd ed.) [E-book]. SAGE Publications, Inc.
I interesting article! I’ll look at it more in depth later. I’m not referring to online dating. Think of it more like a book club for people with similar interests. Online dating has a very specific purpose, whereas in a community, relationships are an outcome that can occur. You sparked an idea though so I’m going to do some searching too! Have a great weekend 😉
This is a very interesting analysis of the sometimes taboo topic of online communities dedicated around sex and relationships. Even the relatively mainstream community on Tinder and other similar dating apps have a stigma of not being used for long-term committed relationships. This obviously is not the case and I like how you made the point that you were curious about the level of committed relationships that are fostered through participation in these groups.
I conducted some research as this question was interesting to me. Cited below is a study
by the Association for Psychological Science titled “Online Dating: A Critical Analysis
Perspective of Psychological Science”. It offers an interesting perspective about how even in the case of a group such as these, where everyone is similar in that they enjoy a specific fetish, they may actually be disappointed after meeting someone in this manner. The authors posit that “‘similarity’ works best as a series of serendipitous realisations.” They go on to say “if you begin by demanding similarity, if you advertise to have your fetishes met, then surely all you can ever discover, over time, is difference?” While somewhat sad for combating loneliness in the members of these groups, it does make sense. I only hope there are other ways of ensuring lower levels of mental disorders in these communities.
https://www3.nd.edu/~ghaeffel/OnineDating_Aron.pdf