Personal relationships refer to close connections between people formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow from and are strengthened by mutual experiences.
Personal relationships take many forms. For example in romantic relationships—being attracted to another person, forming romantic bonds, and getting married.
Theories argue that many human behaviors have a basis in our distant past. The assumption is that behaviors that are beneficial in passing on our genes will be carried on through generations. There are universal traits that are considered physically attractive; both sexes tend to be attracted to characteristics that signal health, youth, and reproductive capacity. Evolutionary arguments for mate selection should be universally applicable to all Homo sapiens and transcend culture. Gender plays a role in determination of desirable characteristics in a mate.
As children form mental representations or schema based on our first bonded relationship – often with our mother or another caregiver. The motivation to form attachment is biologically based but the process of forming attachments is based on experience. If a child experiences love and affection, (s)he will come to see himself as worthy of love and attention. The working model will determine his relationship with other people and the way he sees himself in the future. It is believed that humans tend to reproduce the internal working model in later relationships.
Gruman, J.A.,Schneider, F.W., & Coutts, L.A. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Hi,
I can easily relate to what you mentioned that “humans tend to reproduce the internal working model in later relationships.” I grew up in a single-parent family, and I don’t think my mum is very good at communication. The way of communication I learned from her did not quite help me much in forming my later relationships. I struggled for years until I met my husband who is the person that finally shows me how good communication works inside a home. According to Bartholomew’s adult attachment pattern table, I am confident to say that I have now transformed from “Fearful” or “Preoccupied” to “Secure”.(Schneider et al., 2016) Thanks for sharing!
Schneider, F. W., Gruman, J. A., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2016). Applied social psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems (3nd ed). Sage.