Attachment styles are shaped by experience and can be replaced throughout adulthood (Gruman et al., 2016). However, what events trigger us to unlearn our attachment styles? Moreover, are these changes temporary or enduring? If these can be clarified, it may lead to suggestions for interventions to increase security.
According to Fraley et al. (2021), certain life events have been shown to cause persistent changes in attachment styles. For example, conflict with a new romantic partner is associated with a persistent increase in avoidance and anxiety. Those who have experienced loss have also been shown to be associated with increased attachment anxiety(Fraley et al., 2021). These may suggest that if the life event is adverse for the individual, it may increase interpersonal anxiety and trigger changes in attachment style.
Conversely, it has also been suggested that the more positive and rewarding the experience is, the stronger the tendency to show a permanent decrease in attachment anxiety following the event (Fraley et al., 2021). This study shows that attachment styles can change depending on people’s interpretations of life events. For example, if people can develop a positive, mutually supportive, and understanding relationship in a new romantic relationship, they may expect a sustained decrease in attachment anxiety. However, more research is needed because most life events are difficult to translate into lasting changes in attachment styles and are interpreted differently by different people.
There are many life events in our lives. Some people may negatively perceive conflicts in romantic relationships, resulting in increased fearfulness. In contrast, others may take a long-term view of the conflict and interpret it as a positive thing in their relationship, which may reduce the fearfulness. Thus, in the future, by clarifying under what conditions people change their attachment styles in a sustained manner, we may be able to propose interventions to increase our sense of security.
Resources
Fraley, R. C., Gillath, O., & Deboeck, P. R. (2021). Do life events lead to enduring changes in adult attachment styles? A naturalistic longitudinal investigation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 120(6), 1567–1606. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000326
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2016). Applied social psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. SAGE Publications, Incorporated.
Thank you for your post on attachment styles. I love seeing more content about relationship and interpersonal dynamics as a big part of the issue is knowledge or the lack thereof. For many people awareness is key and those who see negative patterns and behaviors and choose to not repeat them can have a greater chance of entering into relationships that may be better suited to who and how they are in relationships. Someone who is anxious and fearful, and knows this about themselves, may in the future do everything they can to avoid those who are avoidant or dismissive as they know they will be ill-matched and that individual will bring out their undesired behaviors and feelings. They may then seek out someone who is more securely attached and who they can be more relaxed around and their anxiety will not be triggered as much. some attachment styles work together and some are catastrophic and too often we just fall into relationships. Knowledge is power in all realms including relationships and we can harness that power to have better relationship and interpersonal outcomes.
References:
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2016). Applied social psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. SAGE Publications, Incorporated.