The lesson about attraction was fascinating. Is the theory of opposites attracting true? In the past, I often heard this saying about how opposites spark interest in one another. Although I now have a different opinion on the theory. The lesson demonstrated the two different ideas, similar-to-me and opposite attract. In other words, people want someone similar to or different from them; they cannot have both.
The long-term relationships I have seen last are all similar and share the same beliefs. If people are different, it will be easier to have a long-term relationship because people will argue often. Knapton (2016) states that the theory of opposites attracts is a myth. The researcher found that people are attracted to others with the same values. This makes sense because if someone does not have the same values as their partner, can they have a long-term relationship?
“It suggests that strangers hoping to hit it off would do better to play to their similarities rather than trying to impress the other person with attributes that make them unique” (Knapton, 2016). This quote stood out because I have seen some friends pretend to be completely different just so the guy they liked would like them back. This quote also reminds me of the similar-to-me effect and how people get along with others who tend to look and think similarly to them. This makes sense because people with similar personalities usually get along because they think and act similarly.
Regarding the similar-to-me effect, the way I strike up a conversation with a stranger is if they have similar interests as me. For example, I was reading a book called “The Four Agreements,” and so was the woman next to me on the plane. I started a conversation with her because we shared a similar interest in this book. In addition, if you and a stranger have little in common, continuing the conversation and enjoying it will be challenging. Therefore, I do not think that opposites attract. This is because change is not easy and is unlikely to happen. Knapton (2016) demonstrates that choosing people compatible with one’s needs and goals is simpler than being with someone who does not share similar beliefs. Therefore, this will cause strife in the relationship, which is unlikely to be long-term.
Furthermore, the theory that opposites attract is a myth. Attraction is based on similarities and having similar goals that two people can strive to achieve together. If people do not have commonalities in a relationship, there will likely be more arguing and strife. Lastly, being with someone like yourself is crucial for a deeper connection.
References:
Knapton, S. (2016). Opposites don’t attract, we look for partners with same values. Daily Telegraph [London, England], p. 9. Gale In Context: Global Issues, link.