I’ve always been interested in human relationships and what makes us attracted to one another. In this lesson’s readings, there was a lot of information about physical attraction, proximity, familiarity, situational influences, and how all of those things impact our attraction to one another (Gruman, 2016). While I understand and can pinpoint relationships in my own life that are great examples of each of those things, I started to wonder about the rare instances of attraction and familiarity that don’t exactly fit into those boxes. The person you meet who bowls you over with no real explanation behind it. The following story is weird, I know.
On my 22nd birthday, I was at the funeral of my friend. He died in a car accident, surprising all of us, as we were so young and felt invincible, and he was so fun and talented and absolutely beautiful. This was not where I expected to meet someone. After the service, I was standing in the parking lot with a few friends, talking about our friend we had lost, how crazy all of this was, and what our next moves for the day would be. That’s when T walked up. I didn’t know him, but he knew the people I was standing with. We acknowledged each other with a casual “what’s up”, and I was hooked. He was not traditionally good-looking, or someone I would expect myself to be attracted to. I didn’t know anything about him or his personality, and I felt like I’d been hit by a freight train. This was almost 15 years ago and I remember it vividly. What happened between the two of us in the following days, months, and years can only be described as an absolute disaster, but where did that instant connection come from?
In the article The Science Behind Pheromones, the BetterHelp editorial team discusses the impact of pheromones — “chemical messengers” secreted through sweat, urine, and saliva. “People who have a love-at-first-sight reaction to someone or who feel a strong attraction to another person are usually experiencing a pheromone attraction” (Fader, 2022). However, this can work both ways. Pheromones can also repel you against someone. The impact of pheromones is thought to be so strong that products have been created to “boost” pheromone levels with the hopes of increasing an individual’s attraction.
“Studies using pheromones at the University of Chicago showed that men who used topical pheromones had a 52% improvement in starting conversations and an even better rate of improvement in staying engaged in conversation. They also saw improvement in getting compliments, noticeable flirting from the opposite sex and a 40% increase in female sexual responsiveness…females who used topical pheromones found themselves asked on dates more often…an increase in foreplay during sexual activity. 74% of the females…saw a huge increase in their interactions with men overall with most reporting having sex more often and receiving more intimacy such as hugs and cuddling after a sexual act. Another study in 2002 by San Francisco State University showed that women who wore synthetic pheromones were found more attractive by their partners.” (Fader, 2022).
Although I don’t see myself ever purchasing a product to increase my pheromone output, I do think it’s interesting that so much of attraction is literally just created by our bodies, and is a natural part of our biology.
References:
Fader, S. (2022, August 16). The Science Behind Pheromones Affecting Attraction And Humans | BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/attraction/the-science-behind-pheromones-attraction/
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (2016). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (3rd ed.). SAGE Publications, Inc.
Wow, this blog post is very interesting. I’m also deeply interested in romance and attraction. I want to start by saying, I’m so sorry for the loss you went through when you were 22-years-old. That’s too young to lose a friend. I lost a friend when I was 16-years-old. He was just 12-years-old. It’s a weird thing to see your friend’s corpse in front of you. I empathize with you. Additionally, I’m sorry for the tornado that followed after your initial attraction to the person you described in the story.
I had an experience with a previous partner where his scent turned me off. It sounds quite strange, but he smelled sickly, and I couldn’t get over it. He had a smell similar to my dad when he was in and out of the hospital. It’s a distinct smell that I can’t forget. You’re certainly right that pheromones are a powerful agent in attraction. The statistics on how often men and women engage in romantic and sexual activity after using perfume and cologne is astonishing. I didn’t realize it worked that much.
I once googled “why do perfume ads make no sense.” After reading a few forums, it seems like perfume ads are selling an aura, not just a product, and maybe this aura is who you want to be when you attract your next mate. “Scents, alone and/or in combination with visual and/or verbal support, are made to function metaphorically in ads since they symbolize something different (i.e., sexuality, romanticism, etc.) from the physical odor directly conveyed by each fragrance (i.e., floral, woody, oriental, etc.). Odors in perfumes are not indexes but symbols which give rise to olfactory metaphors” (Velasco-Sacristán & Fuertes Olivera, 2006). In other words, perfume ads combine the idea of romanticism or sexuality with the smell of the fragrance. If perfume companies didn’t do marketing, I wonder how many people would buy perfume to attract mates. My guess is, it would still be a booming industry.
References
Velasco-Sacristán, M., & Fuertes Olivera, P. A. (2006). Olfactory and olfactory-mixed metaphors in print ads of perfume. Annual Review of Cognitive Linguistics, 4, 217–252. https://doi.org/10.1075/arcl.4.09vel